Open Season is the sort of movie I dread. In the past, I'd see a trailers for a thousand disposable kid flicks and almost immediately forget them. Not my cup of tea, so they weren't worth assigning any brain space. Now, however, I have two newborn twin boys, and I know that in a couple of years, far too much of my life is going to be spent sitting through the likes of Open Season. Movies that don't really strain for anything more than mediocrity, working under the -- unfortunately all too true -- assumption that all it takes to rake in a big opening-weekend box office is funny-looking CGI characters and a couple of semi-recognizable celebrity voices.
But it gets worse. Because in this day and age, it doesn't stop with the water torture of sitting through a Saturday matinee amidst a sea of screaming, sticky children...if the movie makes any money at all, there will be sequels. Oh yes, the endless crop of direct-to-DVD sequels, an object lesson in both diminishing returns and the willingness of desperate parents to buy any damn thing if they think it will shut their kids up for 90 minutes. And hey, who am I to judge? Chances are, I'll be one of them in two years, sitting slouched in a darkened theater, immune to the surrounding laughter and joy of children, alone in my own nightmare world locked behind hollow eyes that have seen too much. The horror...the horror...
On an unrelated note, here's the trailer for Open Season 3, which hits Blu-ray and DVD January 25th, 2011. It's lost Ashton Kutcher but gained Joel McHale, which is a net gain any way you slice it.
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