Soul Plane

Whenever the Rainbow Coalition decides to protest the Academy Awards again for their lack of recognition towards minorities, I advise them to do one thing. Go Rent Soul Plane. Maybe then they will realize why the Academy swoons over Denzel. It’s crap like this that sets the country back sixty years. Jessy Terrero makes the jump from music video director to feature film director in arguably the worst film of the year. From start to finish, Soul Plane is nothing more than racial stereotype after racial stereotype. Rabid usages of the “n” word, watching people going crazy over Popeye’s chicken and Colt .45, and the obligatory uncool white guy are all in here. Halfway through you’ll pray this plane gets hijacked.

After Neshawn Wade (Kevin Hart) catches a flight on a commercial airline, a chain of events occur which lead him to getting stuck in a toilet seat and having his dog blown out of the cargo hold and into a jet engine. After suing the airline for one hundred million dollars he and his cousin Muggsy (Method Man) decide to start their own airline. Months later comes Neshawn Wade Airlines' maiden voyage from L.A. to New York with N.W.A. flight 69. The only problem is his pilot Captain Mack (Snoop Dogg) is a drug addict and ex-con, his airline security, led by Mo’Nique, is the worst in history, and a blind man (John Witherspoon) keeps getting off fingerbanging baked potatoes. Will his venture be a success or a failure like his other get rich quick schemes? Well, it turns out money really isn’t important to Neshawn anymore, because after the plane takes off he discovers his long lost love is on the plane and he has to win back her heart.

Plot holes, plot changes, and the most juvenile of humor make this flick barely even watchable. The film goes from being the story of Neshawn and his new business to a god awful picture that could only be considered Airplane!: The Remix. How does crap like this get made? Who honestly thought this was a good idea? The title alone is bad enough, a cheap pun on “Soul Train”. Comedy is supposed to be broad and appeal to everyone of every ethnicity, gender, religion, cultural background and even sexual orientation. It’s movies like this that add more and more bricks to the barrier. If you aren’t Spike Lee, you shouldn’t be making “For Us By Us” movies.

The only reason childish crap like this even gets the green light is because it caters to these damn kids who watch MTV and like pretty colors. How stupid are these people? It’s not like this was dumped by the studio in the winter or fall months, it was given a Memorial Day weekend slot. Either they wanted it buried really quick or they thought they had a shot. I can’t believe I had to sit through this. It annoys me to no end that I have to be a certain "way" to find things funny. Funny is funny. There is no such thing as not getting it here. I get it...I get it all...but from start to finish all you can do is just roll your eyes at this piece of garbage.

Director Jessy Terrero needs to just keep making music videos, because after making such vile crap like this it’s a wonder he’ll ever work again. No wonder MGM went under. I don’t get how a person could be proud of being a part of this. Here’s hoping Hollywood spares us.

If by now you don’t realize I utterly loathe this flick, then by all means go out and rent it because obviously you are dense enough to laugh at this trash. If you have any sense whatsoever you will never ever see this. I beg of you, do not waste your time on racist, sexist, and homophobic shit like Soul Plane. This is the “Special Edition” DVD of Soul Plane. I’m reviewing this version because I knew the “Mile-High Unrated and Out of Control” edition would’ve driven me even more crazy. This version has deleted scenes, a behind the scenes/making of featurette, the “Survivor Safety Video”, and a director/cast video commentary.

The deleted scenes should have been longer. In fact eighty six minutes longer. Thankfully, they cut out more gay jokes, more swooning for fried chicken, and other useless stuff they didn’t need. I still say the entire thing should have been scrapped.

The behind the scenes/making of featurette includes various cast and crew interviews on the set. What’s interesting is that in the midst of it it’s easy to see why this is so bad. Jessy Terrero talks about how practically everybody in the movie didn’t want to do it, so he rewrote each part to please everybody. No wonder it stinks - too many chefs in the kitchen and the soup gets burned. If Tom Arnold passed on the project, then you know something’s wrong with it. Yet most of the unknown portion of the cast are praying for Soul Plane II....please kill me.

The “Survivor Safety Video” is just a B.S. gag used before the flight takes off, where the flight attendants get their own music video as they lip synch to a Destiny’s Child spoof as they give the safety instructions to the passengers. It's just a stupid gag in the movie, but now we get to see it in it’s entirety. Yippy.

Finally there’s the director and cast commentary. Terrero insists this is a masterpiece, Tom Arnold makes fun of Kevin Hart, and Godfrey and Gary Anthony Williams insist they are indeed not gay. I hated this commentary, if only because it made me have to watch the movie again.

When good movies get crap from their DVD release and dog piss like Soul Plane gets two loaded editions, it really makes me sick. There is no reason for you to see this movie or rent/buy this DVD. I’m really not even sure why you’d even be interested in reading this review, but since you've read it listen to me - stay away from this flick!