Bad Fandom: Sickened By Star Wars Nerds

There is nothing wrong with enjoying Star Wars. There is, however, something very wrong with owning a full storm trooper suit or dressing up like and/or believing that you are a Jedi. Before the original film was released in 1977, Twentieth Century Fox execs. assumed the worst. In fact, Fox muscled theaters into ordering the film if they wanted the anticipated, now forgotten The Other Side of Midnight. But the popularity of the film solidified its success and the waves of Star Wars nerds and fanboys to come -- which would eventually lead to the film franchise's downfall.

Popularity gave creator George Lucas free reign to ruin the original Star Wars experience through endless re-releases of the original trilogy with new computer-generated effects and a prequel trilogy that destroyed the mystery and wonder behind the original three. Of course, Star Wars fanboys devour anything new -- unable to see the changes or new films in an objective light. That's not to say that no one should like the new trilogy or even the "Special Editions." If these new, sub-par Star Wars allow you to revel in nostalgia that is perfectly fine, but don't over look the obvious short comings of new films and changes that are driven by profits.

Not only do these fanboys demean themselves, in public no less, by wearing ridiculous costumes and waving around plastic toys, but they continually buy into whatever new or re-hashed Star Wars product Lucas is pushing down their throats. And that's the cruelest part of the Star Wars fan saga; that Lord Lucas is consistently exploiting those that would follow him to their graves -- assuming that his fans think their bodies will magically disappear given their devotion to Lucas' hokey religion. When a new Star Wars action figure is being released, it's not 12 year-old kids lining up, but 30 year-old losers obsessed with a slightly above-average film series. The fact is that today's youth doesn't give a shit about Star Wars, but the older generation trying to recapture the magic of their own youth does.

The Star Wars consumerism driven by Lord Lucas is the cause of so many lonely middle-aged men still living in their parents' basement. If, by some stroke of luck, a Star Wars fanboy happens to leave his own hive of Star Wars toys and lightsabers and happens to somehow finds a wife, he is only creating a new generation of Star Wars consumers that will lap the scraps from Lucas' table.

Even Harrison Ford, everyone's favorite space smuggler, knows all to well Lucas' real motives. He originally tried to convince Lucas to kill off Solo in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, in hopes of making the story better. ''You don't need him,'' Ford said, retelling the story to Entertainment Weekly. ''He's got no mama, got no papa — out there all by himself. He's a piece you can move around or get rid of. But I couldn't get George to go along with that. He didn't want to stop making the toys.''

Blinded by the love for the space opera, the older generation will push upon the faux importance of Star Wars onto their kids. Thus, Lucas' ensures his eternal fandom. Only a true Star Wars fan, who rejects the "Special Editions" and prequel trilogy, could stop this maniacal madman and his legion of brain-washed consumers. But, the passion of those fans has been crushed by decades of betrayed childhood memories and more important than that, they've grown up and moved on. After all, it's only a movie.

Cinema Blend writers fight back against out of control fanboys in our ongoing series of editorials, Bad Fandom! For more Bad Fandom click here.