Good day, horror fans. The post-Halloween season is rarely a big one for our genre of choice, and theaters are proving that. The biggest thing hitting cinemas this week is David Hayter’s Wolves, with Jason Momoa, which might end up being better than everything else in theaters, but I’m guessing Foxcatcher has it beat.
In smaller news, you’ll be able to catch the blink-and-you-missed-it supernatural thriller Jessabelle out on DVD and Blu-ray starting January 13, 2015. Amblin is putting the dark magical thriller Pentacle together with Vertigo Entertainment and Black List screenwriter Ian Fried. IFC Midnight acquired the U.S. rights to the promising conspiratorial sci-fi thriller Ejecta. And on the TV side of things, The Sacrament director Ti West, Tank Girl director Rachel Talalay and David Lynch’s daughter Jennifer Lynch (Boxing Helena) will be handling episodes of the Eli Roth-produced WE series South of Hell.
And now for some Stephen Baldwin-driven insanity.
Check This Insane Trailer For Stephen Baldwin-Starring Magi
When I first started doing these Fear Monger columns, it was in my mission statement that none of the headlining stories that I’d run would ever involve a movie starring Stephen Baldwin. And here I am, aghast at how ridiculously bonkers his new film Magi looks, as can be seen in the trailer above. Now, I know a lot of that has to do with whoever put this trailer together, as their talents of using blisteringly loud audio and smashed-together images of demonic oddities are unparalleled. Still, Magi looks like an intriguingly batshit effort from Turkish director Hasan Karacadag (the Dabbe franchise).
The synopsis doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with the preview. It’s about a woman who moves to Istanbul for work as an English teacher, while her journalist sister starts having problems with her newborn. Enter Stephen Baldwin’s religious figure, Michael motherfuckin’ Madsen and his gun, and an endless supply of gothic religious iconography, along with other macabre imagery and characters with sharp teeth. There are dead bodies everywhere, and everything is shot very lushly, causing me to believe that Guillermo del Toro is producing this thing under a pseudonym or something. Even if it’s a cheesed-up 1980s lovefest, that would still make this one of most exciting upcoming horror flicks. My faith is with Hasan Karacadag, and, by default, Stephen Baldwin.
Ebola Zombies is a Martial Arts Movie That Exists
Along with ghosts, goblins and all the other expected creatures of the horror genre, there exists a subsection of threats based on headline-makers of the past and present. This is where we get, among other things, our serial killer movies and our EBOLA MOVIES! RUN!...Ahem, the American Film Market brought to light Ebola Zombies, which was being sold by Rob Hauschild. If you can imagine, Ebola Zombies is capitalizing on the attention spans of audiences who love zombie movies, fear Ebola and appreciate the hell out of wonky martial arts movies with generic posters.
I think we can all agree that this movie looks like low-budget madness, but there’s a story here that makes it sound even more fantastic. According to Deadline, it was called SARS Zombies a couple of weeks ago, but was changed to take advantage of the recent Ebola-izing of America’s fear center. So far, only Germany and Japan are getting in on the sunglasses-wearing fun, but no one is going to convince me that we won’t be seeing this movie in the U.S. in a few months.
The Butler’s Lee Daniels is Making a Horror Movie?
With his four movies, Lee Daniels has proven himself a director capable of prestigious highs (Precious), lows (The Paperboy) and whatever people thought of Lee Daniels’ The Butler. So one would be wise in thinking he’d head to some other awards-attracting material, but he’s instead taking on a "real life possession case" for the supernatural thriller Demon House. Or Lee Daniels’ Demon House, in case any studios decide to make things complicated. I didn’t see this coming.
According to Deadline, the life rights of Indiana’s Latoya Ammons were acquired in order to turn Demon House into a reality, though no screenwriter has been locked in just yet. The Ammons family has been reportedly plagued by unexplainable circumstances, which have come to the attention of Child Services and the Gary Police Dept. Their problems started out with strange noises and mysterious swarms of flies, and it then became more complicated, with the Ammons children being witnessed levitating and being dragged across the walls and ceiling of the house. Then came the inevitable exorcism, and the case is still ongoing. There’s no question the dearth of black filmmakers in the horror genre is a terrible thing, but will this be something special or just another overproduced drama?
The Device Trailer Delivers Creepy Sci-Fi Thrills
Lo fi sci-fi is almost always worth a watch to me, as the ideas therein are usually worth mulling over, even if the films aren’t always so great. Though I’d never ever heard of his first movie The Invoking, director Jeremy Berg has caught my eye with his sophomore effort The Device, which recently showed up with the above mindbending trailer. If it turns into a run-of-the-mill pod people abduction story, I’ll be disappointed, but I have to give this trailer credit for at least appearing as if it’s taking a somewhat unique approach to alien horror.
Sisters Rebecca (Kate Alden) and Abby (Angela DiMarco) are out at their family cabin with Calvin (David S. Hogan) when they find a strange orb in the dirt. It turns out it has alien origins and will clue them into the world’s extraterrestrial presences, proving humans are no longer in charge of the world. Hopefully Berg, who also wrote the screenplay, shoots for absurd weirdness over traditional B-movie schlock. I like the idea of a simple orb being the source of unpredictable horror. Maybe that’s just the Hellraiser cube fan in me. The Device will hit DVD on December 16th.
For Real, Verne Troyer is a Gnome in Gnome Alone
So, I hate just being mean to horror movies, but fuck Leprechaun: Origins for, regardless of its own merits or faults, spitting in the face of the Leprechaun franchise by changing everything. I’ve got all my hopes and wishes that Gnome Alone is the next little person-fronted horror franchise. Because yes, the Culkin-ishly titled Gnome Alone stars Verne "Mini Me" Troyer as a killer gnome, as you can tell from the gloriously designed DVD cover seen above. He’s like Nosferateeny, but with some kind of a weird goatee. I don’t even need a trailer.
Also starring Kerry Knuppe, Marlon Young, and (of course) Bill Oberst Jr., Gnome Alone is about a girl who gets a cursed amulet from a dying old woman, which results in all of her enemies dying at the tiny hands of a murderous gnome. How can a woman have enough enemies that their gnome deaths become notable to others? In any case, Gnome Alone comes out on DVD and VOD on January 20, 2015, which means its closer to next year’s Christmas than it is to any of the Home Alone movies that it’s seemingly aping.
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Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.
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