Star Wars: The Force Awakens is a movie that is capable of causing a multitude of reactions in people. Many cheer, some cry, a few have gotten angry. We’re not aware of anybody who actually fell asleep, though. At least, not until now.
Von Miller is a linebacker for the NFL’s Denver Broncos. He apparently decided to take himself to the movies on Tuesday to see The Force Awakens, thus making himself the last human being in America to finally see the film. As part of his reward to himself, his team is in the NFL Playoffs, after all, he picked up some mozzarella sticks and an Icee as his movie snacks. According to NFL.com, his food apparently came from the Dark Side.
The Force struck back. You can't put regular gas in a Ferrari. I learned my lesson.
It is true that keeping your body in playing shape requires pretty constant vigilance. At least, that’s what I understand from people who are actually in shape. While you’d think that the occasional breaking of the diet is permissible as long as you don’t stray for too long, that apparently not the case for everybody.
Even with food that knocks you down, it’s hard to imagine a small batch of fried cheese taking down an entire NFL lineman. The guy weighs 250 lbs. How many ounces of cheese was that? Plus, the Icee is basically pure sugar and cold water in a cup, that didn’t give the guy the energy to fight off getting drowsy? We hope he didn’t snore. A guy that size snoring would have ruined the movie for everybody who was seeing it for the third time. Apparently, it was only a short-term case of narcolepsy as the man is now back at practice getting ready for the team’s next game.
Of course, all of this detail really buries the true lead of this story. He got mozzarella sticks at a movie theater? That’s like...real food. Usually, the best I can do is a hot dog, maybe a mini pizza (which is likely terrible). What theater is he going to? Unless this is one of those places where you can get full meals in your seat, the idea of mozzarella sticks from a regular ol' movie theater is a terrifying concept. It just sounds like something that’s going to come out wrong. And if it is one of those places with full menus, what’s he doing getting an Icee? Go all in and get a milkshake dude, you earned it.
So the real question for discussion coming out of this story is, what do you guys eat at the movies? Do you go beyond the standard popcorn and soda? What’s the best, or strangest, thing available to eat in your local theater?
