The summer is officially over. Labor Day has come and gone. The summer box office numbers are in and the NFL season is upon us. That means it’s fall. Autumn baby! Fellow sweaty guys rejoice. And no better way to kick off the season than talking some movies. This week we’ve got family and horror movies.

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.

The Family
Having no real insight into how the federal government handles the security of its informants I probably shouldn’t be the one to comment on how to keep these folks safe. That being said, I kind of consider myself a de facto expert on just about every subject so I’ll point at a few obvious plot flaws for this flick. If one were trying to remain inconspicuous, attempting to “blend” in an effort to not only integrate into a culture, but also fade into the background lest be gunned down by motivated assassin, would moving to completely new country be the way to go? Especially if you were a hardboiled New York crime family with all the subtlety and tact of a bulldozer, on the run for turning snitch. Wouldn’t moving to the French countryside be just the kind of thing you’d want to avoid? Unless of course it’s the plot of a movie and the writers are looking for some cheap “lost in translation” jokes. I guess then it makes sense.

At some point in time a Robert DeNiro and Michelle Pfeiffer teaming would have been, like, news. Not anymore. Their fastballs are long since gone. And though they can show up here and there for a quality role, there exist far too many The Big Wedding’s (7%), Dark Shadows (38%) and New Year’s Eve’s (7%) on the resumes to get very excited about them working together. Though I don’t think this will bottom feed, what is there to get excited about?

Speaking of folks whose best days are behind them: French dude Luc Besson wrote and directs (at least partially explaining the inexplicable setting). Like those in the cast, he’s turned out quality work early on but recently has overseen The Lady (33%) and helped pen From Paris with Love (37%) and Taken (58%). This doesn’t necessarily inspire a great deal of confidence in this latest work. I can’t imagine critics falling in love with this film. It has a “been there, done that” feel to it that will leave critics less than pleased. Maybe if the Feds had placed DeNiro and crew in Sheboygan or something.

The Rotten Watch for The Family is 32%

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