Naked Dude Steals Fire Truck, Runs Over Pedestrian

No one is exactly sure why a twenty-two year old man shed his clothing and stole a fire truck in Port Royal, South Carolina earlier this week, but because of Kalvin Hunt’s actions, one man is dead, three firefighters are injured and at least six vehicles are destroyed. As a result, what could have been a comical situation has turned into a tragedy that could leave the perpetrator in jail for a long time.

The situation began when firefighters responded to a medical emergency at an apartment complex. After they exited their fire truck, Hunt, completely naked, reportedly scurried out of his apartment and hopped into the unlocked vehicle. Barreling into anything and everything in his path, he caused several accidents, clipped numerous cars, ran into a pedestrian and later crashed into a tree. According to WECT, the wreck caused the doors of the fire truck to jam, and Hunt remained inside until emergency rescuers arrived. Upon freeing him from the vehicle, the suspect reportedly assaulted two officers before he was forcibly arrested.

No doubt Hunt will be charged with a laundry list of crimes for his tragic misadventure, but the question on many everyone’s minds is why. Why the hell did he think this was a good idea? Many people, most notably Cosmo Kramer, have always wondered what it would be like to drive a fire truck, but that impulse isn’t ground for absconding with a vehicle you’ve never learned to properly drive. Because of the nakedness, it’s a fair question to wonder whether Hunt was intoxicated or on drugs at the time, but authorities have not yet spoken about that matter.

Pop Blend’s thoughts go out to the victim’s family.