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Isn't anyone else tired of wasting their cash on forgettable films? I want films that move me! I want movies that I can get excited about, films you talk about with your friends, films you wake up in the morning thinking about, and keep you awake at night going over them in your head! Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles is not one of those films.

Croc Dundee 3 stars Paul Hogan as he once again reprises the role that made him a pseudo celebrity, and started an Australian craze in the 80's. Unlike its successful and funny predecessors, Crocodile Dundee 3 is a painfully low key movie. The film drags along through a series of loosely connected incidents in a ponderous attempt to concoct some sort of private eye story out of what should have been another fish out of water romp.

Apparently, after Dundee 2 there was just nothing left to say, but for some reason the story went on anyway. Now we must endure Mick Dundee as a family man, experienced in the ways of city life, and prepared for the challenges that LA presents. This isn't funny. Why do people keep making comedies that aren't funny? Really, I want to know. I mean, use your friggin heads! If you call a film a comedy, it should make me LAUGH. And I mean really LAUGH. I'm not talking about soft chuckles interspersed throughout the film every 10 minutes or so, I'm talking about a 2 hour laugh-a-thon that flows from one gag to the next and has the audience rolling in the isles... free from slow lulls that drag us from one scene to the next, free from cutesy cuddly father-son moments, free from the confusion and consternation of poorly directed low key action sequences! God damn it, make these shitty films FUNNY!!!!!!!!!

Perhaps its time we invented a new film category for films like Croc Dundee in LA. Instead of Comedies, we'll call them Smirkers. Hey, we can even have a cool slogan... you may not laugh, but you just might smirk. Crocodile Dundee manages to botch EVERY opportunity it had to become more than just another Smirker. I mean, this is a film in which Mick Dundee does yoga with MIKE TYSON... and its not even a funny scene! How the hell can you make a scene like that unfunny? I mean its even funny just to say it! At every chance for hilarity, Dundee instead opts for cutesy, and sends the audience home to quickly forget the film.

Well the Hobbit suggests you simply forget it's in theaters, and watch something else instead.

You've read the Hobbit's review, now tell him what you think! CLICK HERE

2 / 10 stars
Rating: movie reviewed star rating out of five