Subscribe To The Hilariously Awful New Way You Can Spoil Game Of Thrones For People Updates
Game of Thrones has become such an insanely popular show that it's almost impossible to avoid spoilers for those of us who can't watch live but still need to use the internet in the meantime. Social media teems with spoilery details within seconds of plot twists going down, and some websites fall short on crafting headlines that are nice and vague for everybody who hasn't gotten to watch. Still, it's possible to avoid spoilers if the Internet can be avoided...that is, unless you have terrible friends and a cell phone. A new website called Spoiled will text Game of Throne spoilers to any phone for a small fee
For only $0.99, Spoiled will anonymously text spoilers to the phone of anybody who gave out their number to a devious Thrones viewer with a little money to burn and a vendetta to pursue. Fans of Game of Thrones will have learned that there are plenty of viciously cruel ways to torture, but paying for a service to anonymous spoil a big death takes the cruelty to a whole new level.
As it happens, that level of cruelty is actually pretty hilariously ingenious. Anybody can learn to avoid texts and calls when they come from a recognizable number that pops up on a smart phone screen. A strange number with a mysterious message might be hard to ignore. Besides, who would really suspect that a trusted compadre or family member had paid a service to anonymously spoil big events in a TV show? That would just be crazy. Using Spoiled to spoil is the perfect crime.
Of course, Spoiled might not work very well as a long-term method of spoiling unsuspecting friends and acquaintances. One big spoiler would likely be enough to make the wise Thrones fan wary of casually glancing as his or her phone. If they fool you once, shame on them. If they fool you twice with the same trick...well, then you kind of deserve it. Nobody in Westeros would survive long if they made that kind of mistakes, and viewers should know that nobody can be trusted when it comes to Game of Thrones. I'd definitely sympathize with anybody who had a plot twist ruined thanks to Spoiled, but I'd have to snicker just a little bit at anybody who fell for the same text trick more than once.
Spoiled is actually a pretty great deal, all things considered. The $0.99 fee doesn't apply per single text, so for far less than your average Lannister debt, a subscriber will be responsible for Spoiled distributing spoilers for an entire season of Game of Thrones. I can't say that it's necessarily a good way to spend money, but at least there's plenty of bang per buck.
Personally, I can be a huge spoiler-phobe, so I'm going to be knocking on wood a couple of times for each joke I've made about people using Spoiled. Season 6 of Game of Thrones has had so many big game-changers that the idea of being spoiled for that one crazy thing or that one stabbing or that one horrific death is horrifying. So, folks, all I can do is advise that you use discretion with Spoiled. Friendship is not forever when spoilers are involved.