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Before I really bite in and dissect this story, let me go ahead and give you the bare bones facts clearly and without prejudice. A Bronx resident named Freddy Caldwell was arrested over the weekend for issuing two separate bomb threats twelve days apart to the New York based television station WPIX-11. He was upset over the channel’s persistent airing of syndicated Two And A Half Men reruns. Police eventually traced the angry phone calls to Caldwell, and he was promptly arrested.

I wish I could tell you what faux-Unabomber Caldwell’s specific motivations were, but unfortunately, The New York Post does not address it in their write-up. Either they didn’t think this was pertinent information or Mr. Caldwell simply hasn’t told anyone what inspired him to go rogue. Either way, I’m at a loss without these key details, wondering whether this is a case of a good man with his heart in the right place who lacked reasoning power and a sensible woman to slap him in the head or a complete moron venting irrational frustrations. Was he mad the station wasn’t airing new episodes or does he just really hate Two And A Half Men?

If Mr. Caldwell just hates Two And A Half Men, then he needs a few anger management sessions and an old man to deliver a fatherly, “I know you thought what you were doing was right, but…” lecture. If he was pissed he’d already seen all of the episodes, a judge needs to hurl the book at him. Keys need to be thrown away, and he needs to spend at least a month in the Shawshank hole before getting a pamphlet on how the mechanics of syndicated television work.

Ordinarily, I would say this has to be a case of despising Two And A Half Men. Re-runs have been airing for decades without mass confusion and anger over the shows being the same, but this guy also called in the bomb threat in from a traceable phone. That’s a shameful, amateur mistake. You’d have to think someone who’s wised up to Two And A Half Men’s groan-worthy bullshit would reason out his criminal activities enough to call from a payphone, right?

Issuing bomb threats is never a good decision, but shooting off emails about programs you hate has never hurt anyone. That’s what I keep in mind every time I’m pissed ID Discovery is running episodes of I Almost Got Away With It rather than the more desirable 48 Hours Mysteries. Thus far, it’s kept me out of jail.

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