Sunday Night Football Week Nine: The Cowboys Are Packed Away

The Cowboys are, effectively, the NFL’s Yankees. You either love them, or hate them. Tonight was a great night if you hate the Cowboys. Our resident broadcasters, Chris Collinsworth and Al Michaels, were stunned by the skill, or lack there of, displayed by America’s Team as they were tormented by the Green Bay Packers in four quarters of hell.

In a game like this, the viewer becomes numbed to the events of the game, which ushers in the need for the commentators to take over and find something to talk about. Well, given the Cowboys pathetic excuse for a season (so much for playing in the Super Bowl in Dallas) Michaels and Collinsworth had no problem filling the airtime as they went over Wade Phillips’ (the head coach of the Cowboys) future with the Cowboys instead of talking about the game. There have certainly been big wins in Sunday Night Football this season, but none have rendered the play on the field as inconsequential as it felt throughout the second half of this game.

The result felt more like a sports talk show than play-by-play of a professional football game; but I kind of liked that. It’s great to see professional commentators adapt to the situation that is handed to them. The problem is, these guys aren’t talk show hosts. They can’t command the air waves like guys who are, you know, interesting. It took all of my not inconsiderable attention span to stay focused on this game, since, you know, I’m not a Packers or Cowboys fan. Regardless, here are a few things I picked up on during this three hour slaughter.

Statistics are a rabid sports fan’s best friend; not only do they give you something to do for the 165 hours of the week that you’re not watching a football game, they also allow you to make legitimate statements about the worth of certain players and teams. Sunday Night Football does not seem to share in the collective excitement about statistics as they use them very seldomly to back up the broadcasters statements. So, the commentators pull stuff out of their butts with no justification; probably because they think they’re better than that. Well, they’re not. No one is. Sorry pals.

The camera-work of Sunday Night Football is uninspired and quite frankly, a little boring. I know it’s a tool to convey what’s happening on-field, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with mixing it up a little. Show a play from the cable cam angle, or from the field goal camera. We’re not going to lose anything if we don’t see every play from the same angle all night long; because, honestly, every play is replayed about six times anyway. I’d like to see more inspiration go into the production of Sunday Night Football on a technical level; it really feels like all the art has been drained out of the production of this program.

As I stated earlier in the season, more attention should be brought to the great characters in football. Clay Matthews, a linebacker for the Green Bay Packers, is a machine. Watching him blitz is like watching a lion attack an injured antelope - it’s almost too gruesome to watch; but, at the same time, it’s too awesome to look away. Matthews, pictured on this page (I know, it all makes sense now) has long, stringy hair, and is massive. Yeah, he grosses out our moms, but he’s also the kind of bad ass that the NFL needs more of. He has no ego, just the raw intensity of a bald eagle attacking a great white shark and knowing he’s got it dead to rights.

Next week (my birthday, by the way), the New England Patriots take on the Pittsburgh Steelers after being silenced by the Cleveland Browns this week. Until then, good luck Mr. Phillips.