Guess who was completely ruled out as the mother this week on How I Met Your Mother. I’ll only give you one guess so you better be good. Okay, lucky guess. I bet you’ll never guess why.
Everyone did take the adult step. Robin’s working in Japan at her big time network news job, which consists of her reading serious news while having bizarre game show type things happen around her. You know, like a giant fan almost knocking her off her chair or a monkey throwing marshmallows at her head. And Ted and Stella are on track to get married. The only problem? Stella’s sister just got engaged and is getting married first. This wouldn’t normally be a problem but it seems little sis hijacked Stella’s dream wedding.
So instead of Stella and Ted standing at sunset on the beach near Stella’s family’s home on Shelter Island, she would just be attending a wedding at this dream location, secretly wishing she was saying, “I do.” It stands to reason then, that when little sis’ wedding is called off, Stella and Ted decide to take over her wedding and cut their engagement short. Now they’re getting married in a few days as opposed to about a year. Yup. That’s a huge difference but everyone’s on board, even Robin, who is flying in from Japan for the occasion.
Ted and Stella are ecstatic but I think Barney’s happiest of all. Before you ask, no, he hasn’t given up his commitment in the war against marriage. He also hasn’t given up the idea of being with Robin again and according to his calculations, the best possibility of a rematch is if he gets Robin drunk at Ted’s wedding. After all, she’ll be vulnerable and nostalgic on top of the normal aphrodisiac Barney uses, alcohol. Of course, this only works if he doesn’t slip up with a bridesmaid first, as Lily so helpfully points out. He’s confident that he can hold out until the gang actually arrives at the hotel.
First, they find out the hotel is actually some kind of commune. There’s no meat and no alcohol. So much for Barney’s brilliant plan. The other thing working against him: Stella’s sister is shamelessly throwing herself at him. And I do mean shamelessly. I guess you can cut her some slack since it was supposed to be her wedding. Even though the venue isn’t their dream wedding, almost everyone is already there and Ted and Stella are thrilled. That is, until Ted mentions that one of the people who isn’t there yet is Robin. You mean Stella doesn’t want Ted’s last ‘one’ at their wedding?
Apparently, she thinks having exes at a wedding is asking for a disaster. Something about old sparks rekindling and issues resurfacing. Ted doesn’t see the problem but she is the bride so he tries to call Robin to tell her not to come. Unfortunately, Barney calls. Like he’s going to tell her not to come and blow his best chance. Robin’s on the way and Ted’s out of luck. Lily and Marshall convince him that he can’t tell Stella until he averts another disaster. Then he’ll look like a hero and Stella won’t care that Robin will be at the wedding.
The first disaster that comes up is that Stella’s ex, Tony, won’t let her daughter, Lucy, attend the wedding. Score. Perfect opportunity for our little Ted to save the day. And it works. Kind of. Tony says she can go but only after some crying on his part that now he realizes what he had. Whatever. Who cares what his regrets are? Come one, you know Ted cares. And now Tony is invited to the wedding. Great, he’s the second to last person Stella wanted at her wedding, Robin being the first. She is glad that Lucy’s there but as soon as she sees Ted, she’s pissed again. And that’s when Robin shows up. Nice timing.
Ted does grow a pair after talking with Stella, finally, and he tells Robin she’s not invited while Stella goes to tell Tony the same thing. Her response might shock you a little. She’s relieved. I guess she doesn’t want to be the ex at the wedding. Not that there’s anything between her and Ted anymore but there might be one day. Besides, those feelings never completely disappear. Seems like everything’s going to work out and there could be a HIMYM wedding after all.
By the way, it won’t be Robin and Barney’s. She goes to him for comfort, and a little bed time, and he’s already busy with a girl from the front desk. Stupid Barney. I want my Barney and Robin. Ugh. Whatever.
Back to Ted and Stella. Ted runs to the room to let Stella know the wedding is good to go but instead of Stella, he finds a letter from Stella. What does the letter say? Maybe we should ask Robin, who is on the ferry home when she sees Stella on the same ferry - with her ex. And they’re holding hands. I know. I guess good old Stella wasn’t so worried about sparks between Ted and Robin as between her and Tony. Whatever. She lived in New Jersey. And she had a kid and they totally rushed into it. Still, poor Ted.
Well, did you guess right that time? Didn’t think so. I guess we’ll start back at the beginning.