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Probst is messing with my mind this week. The showA starts out with a little recap as usual, but as usual, I skipped through it. The very first major event after that is what’s screwing me up. Probst lines the tribes up on pedestals, and tells them this is how they’ve been ranked as most important by their tribe members. No surprise, Marcus is tops in Kota – but Matty as tops in Fang? For real? The burnout guy who uses words like “buzzkill”? Says a lot about your tribe, dude.

After this little popularity contest, Probst tells them it’s time to switch tribes. WTF?!? I just got to know who was on which tribe! They go back and forth, choosing from the opposite team, and it ends up that Sugar is not chosen by either side, so she’s off to exile island. She got the idol last time, so she went for the limp gourd and some comfort this time around. She is tribeless, and hoping for a spot on Fang with her sweety Ace.

Fang is destined to vote GC off – because there is no way these people are going to put up with his shit. Ace shows off his stuff by instantly taking control, and Crystal is practically in love. She also digs Kelly, who was unpopular in her original tribe. Kelly admits she can change her personality at will – like a personality chameleon or something. That’s nice, make friends by admitting you’re totally fake. Good way to make close, personal relationships. Note to self…people like it when you pretend to be just like them. Ken admits that he, GC and Crystal are using her for her vote – oh and he thinks she’s lonely enough to let him in her pants.

Over at Kota, Randy is his old lovable self, and admits he hates them all. Wow, this show is full of people who know how to play the game. Actually, I think Randy could win this whole thing. He’s very Richard Hatch-esque, (without the gay nudity) and could pull this off.

I missed the point of the immunity challenge, and don’t care enough to rewind. It’s some kind of water polo game on individual rafts. Randy scores the first point for Kota, and Kelly makes some nasty comment to Ace the goalie. After that first goal, Marcus uses his manliness to mesmerize Kelly and passes to Randy, they score again. Wow, Fang, you suck.

Kelly literally sits on her ass for the majority of the challenge, and practically cements her place on the block – even with Ken pulling for her. Randy scores, winning the challenge.

Back at Fang, they analyze their loss, and Kelly takes no responsibility. Yeah, it’s pretty much a lock that she’s gone. GC tells Crystal and Ken they would be stupid to get rid of Ace after the way he performed today. Kelly is worthless, and thank goodness these three morons are realizing it. Make that one moron and two naïve, but nice people. They talk to Matty and they start to talk Jacquie instead. Matty tells her this, and she talks to Ken about it. Ken makes eye contact with a woman (besides Crystal) for the first time this season. Jacquie is wishing she was still over in the onion alliance…and Ken advises her to talk to Crystal.

She does, but who knows if it has any affect. I’m feeling that Kelly is gone – but they always make you think the opposite. I can’t handle the freaking pressure! GC admits to Probst that he likes seeing him – I had no idea GC liked boys! Ken, the 23 year old in a 14 year old’s body, tells Probst he doesn’t know if he can trust the new tribe members, and I’m sitting on pins and freaking needles. Why don’t they just vote already?!? I hate this suspense. Why don’t they pull a Ryan Seacrest and go to a commercial and make this last even longer.

Voting, voting, voting, one vote for Kelly, one for Jacquie…more voting…I’m getting irritated…

Probst tallies the votes (seriously, get a new phrase), and it’s…Jackie! WTF!?!? Do they like losing? Keep a loser, and you’re going to keep losing! One positive for Ace – Sugar will be coming to pay him a visit when she comes back from exile. Those two are super cute!

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