When I heard that a God of War movie is actually in the works, I got super excited. Not only because I’ve been thoroughly invested in the game’s story since the very beginning, but because I also knew that if it’s good, it could possibly put an end to these damn Clash/Wrath of the Titans movies. Hopefully, this one will be the last.
4 / 10 stars
Rating: movie reviewed rating
You know what? These Titans movies have been so much better for me to watch at home, because I certainly can’t watch them in the theaters. Twice I’ve gone to see them on the big screen, and twice I’ve fallen asleep in my seat with spilled popcorn all over my shoes when I woke up. That’s probably more my fault than Hollywood’s since I was the one who was tricked twice by lavish trailers that promised awesomeness, only to reward me with garbage. But at home, at least I can pause it and take a snooze when it gets to the boring parts. At least this Blu-ray is good for that.

To this film’s credit, at least it’s better than the first one, which isn’t saying much. But at least this film actually has a titan in it, unlike the first one, which had a title that didn’t make any sense (Clash of the Titans? What titans?). This film focuses on the titan Kronos, who is the father of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. Hades has hatched a plan out of spite for Zeus to release Kronos from his prison in Tartarus, and Perseus (Sam Worthington) is brought in to aid the gods and stop him. It’s a nice progression from the last movie, which was more a remake of the original 1981 version than anything else, and it’s a slightly stronger picture for it. There’s a lot more actual mythology this time, and it helps, but it only helps so much.

Cyclopes, a chimera, and a minotaur all make an appearance in this film, and it adds a great deal to the movie as the mythology that backs them up is great. But the problems of the first film still plague this one, with its hero being problem numero uno. Sam Worthington is not an action hero. I know Hollywood has tried to make him out to be one, but he’s not. He’s a terrible actor and he doesn’t carry the story along well. You never really care what happens to him, and he just has that look of a guy who you know is going to make it to the end with barely a scratch. He just doesn’t work.

The action is also awful. Like the first movie, it’s boring and features people constantly dodging being crushed at the last second. If anything, it’s like an ancient version of Transformers with loud explosions and no pay-off. I want to be excited when a god like Ares leaps down to Earth, not bored out of my skull. And there’s just something about how the action is filmed in these movies that’s lackluster. Stuff is flying all over the place, but you don’t care. It’s probably because you don’t care about the characters. Yeah, that’s probably it.

Overall, if you loved the first movie (and I know there are some of you out there), then you’ll love this one. It’s bigger and there’s more mythology involved. But if you loathed the first movie (and I know there are even more of you out there), then you won’t enjoy this one either. As long as Sam Worthington is the lead and lame near-misses count for excitement, then this series will always be mundane. Just play God of War 3 again if you need your Greek mythology fix.
10 / 10 stars
Rating: movie reviewed rating
Surprisingly, the special features on this disc kick ass. As an immense fan of Greek mythology, the special features delve into it deeply, and it almost makes me appreciate the movie more. "Almost," I said. “Maximum Movie Mode” allows you to watch the film over again (groan!), but also allows you to follow the path of man or gods (Yay!) where you basically get two in-picture commentaries discussing the gods in Greek mythology, and where mankind fits into all of it. If you’re a teacher (as I am), then this mode is a history lesson all in itself. Just pop this baby in and you’re getting writers, actors, producers, and even a professor talking about mythology and en where this movie fits into academia. It’s seriously worth buying this disc. I’m not even joking. The movie sucks ass, but this feature is exceptional.

“Focus Points” focuses on the special effects and scenes in the movies and how they were pulled off. We learn about the script and the characters, and a great deal of other behind-the-scenes stuff, and if you’re in the camp that loved the movie, then you’ll adore this feature. For all others, it’s interesting, but you won’t get the same out of it as the fans. It expands the film, and I don’t know if everyone wants that. Lastly, there are the “deleted scenes.” Again, if you’re a fan, you may enjoy these, but they really feel like so much added fluff and only make an already bad movie even worse. But again, that “Maximum Movie mode” is worth the price of this disc alone.

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