She was responsible for one of the biggest flops of 2001 in Glitter, but Mariah Carey hasn’t given up on the movie business. No one seems to be able to stop the diva, diva being a socially acceptable codeword for big-haired mental patient. Really someone, please, stop her!

Mariah has been cast in an upcoming indie drama called Tennessee in which she’ll play a waitress. Not just any waitress, a waitress trying to save the life of her leukemia afflicted brother. To do that, she has to trace her family tree and find a bone marrow donor.

While a movie about Mariah Carey tracing a family tree might sound pretty exciting to some, I think most of us can agree we’d rather be subjected to her latest album than be forced to watch her pour over volumes and volumes of microfiche.

The movie is being directed by David Cronenberg’s nephew, a guy named Aaron Woodley. Woodley’s first film appeared in 2003 and was seen by no one. It was called Rhinoceros Eyes. Insert a joke about Mariah Carey and the sequel Rhinoceros Hips here.