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In the Name of the King Synopsis

An action/fantasy feature film, based on the popular videogame, DUNGEON SIEGE. It is a tale of knights and kings, great courage and noble causes, magic and adventure. The film follows the journey of Farmer (Jason Statham) from simple family man to heroic prince. An unspeakably evil army rampages across what was an idyllic, peaceful world, destroying everything in its path, looking to conquer the mighty Castle Ebb and vanquish the King himself! Amidst this backdrop of war in the Kingdom of Ehb, between the evil Gallian (Ray Liotta) and the ruling King Konreid (Burt Reynolds), Farmer sets out to find his kidnapped wife, Solana (Claire Forlani), and avenge the death of his son, who was killed by animal warriors called Krugs.

In the name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale—it’s not the first game you’d probably think of to be released for the big screen (Or the second, third, or even 1000th). But leave it to Uwe Boll, director, boxer, and all around chipper guy, to make yet another cinematic abortion look even worse than it damn well should.

Coming out January 11, 2008 and starring Jason Statham (Why, Jason, why?! You have such potential), Ray Liotta, and, uh, Burt Reynolds, I can already tell from just watching the trailer that Dungeon Siege will be a piece of crap with a gob of Velveeta cheese on the side for good measure.

Now, I’ll admit I actually saw the trailer for this monstrosity while I was tossing Milk Duds down my throat waiting for D-Wars to start. But there’s just something about Uwe (and you) that leaves a weird, cottony aftertaste in your mouth that just doesn’t go away, no matter how much you scrub your tongue or replay the games he so recklessly makes a mockery of.

Whether it was actually seeing screen shots from the light gun shooter during House of the Dead, or watching Oscar winner Ben Kingsley finally sell his soul for real to pay the rent in Bloodrayne (which has a straight to video sequel that’s actually better than the original by the way), Uwe will singlehandedly bring along the Apocalypse any chance he gets. And Dungeon Siege looks to be the very last horseman.

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