You know how when you’re watching Lord of the Rings: Return of The King extended edition and half of you really enjoys its lengthy attributes and half of you wants to just stand up by the end and yell for Frodo to get on the fucking boat before you piss on something in anger? I’ve always sort of felt the same way about Dances With Wolves, you know, with Two Socks dying substituted for the boat scene. Luckily for myself, and anyone with any similar inklings, Dances With Wolves is being re-released and will include over 50 minutes of extended footage. This will be tantamount to watching one Lord of the Rings film plus 30 extra minutes of people cracking hobbit jokes. Torture.

The for-the-first-time-ever Blu-Ray release will hit stores January 11, 2011. It’s a Twentieth Anniversary edition, and as such will come with a variety of special features. I’d like this time to note that I’ve probably been a wee bit unfair to Dances With Wolves. As Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc. says in its press release, it is an American classic. An American Classic featuring scantily clad Mary McDonnell. The two-disc Blu-Ray set is full of some serious features. The first disc includes an HD Master Audio Track, the extended footage, and commentary by Kevin Costner, producer Jim Wilson, director of photography Dean Semler, and editor Neil Travis. It will also showcase some interactive features called “Military Rank and Social Hierarchy Guide” and “Real History or Movie Make Believe.”

The second disc will include a brand new featurette called A Day in the Life on the Frontier. There will also be a documentary, a making-of featurette, a photo montage, a poster gallery, TV spots, and an original music video (your guess is as good as mine on that one, but I’m hoping for “Main Title -- Looks Like a Suicide”).

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