To win over consumers, game publishers will say some amazing things. They'll use all sorts of flowery, meaningless language to paper over a game's flaws or their questionable business decisions.
Here are some of the most common words you'll see tossed around in official announcements from gaming companies, along with their real meaning:
Authentic - "Our game uses the real brand names for firearms."
Award-winning - "SurlyBillReviewsGamesAndHamburgers.blogspot.com gave our game five stars!"
Cinematic - "You'll spend half the game watching cutscenes."
Dark - "Your character forgot to shave."
Dynamic - [jerk-off motion]
Engaging - "It's a video game."
Epic - "Our game has an orchestral soundtrack."
Exclusive - "The game won't be released on a rival console but it will probably be released on PC."
Free-to-play, not pay-to-win - "Yes, you can spend an almost unlimited amount of money on in-game items that will make the game easier and potentially more fun but HEY LOOK OVER THERE!"
Gone gold - "Our game is finished except for the 3GB day-one patch."
Gritty - "Players will meet prostitutes."
High-octane - "It's a racing game."
Immersive - "There's a first-person camera and you see your character's hands when you're vaulting over obstacles."
Infinite possibilities - "You can be a warrior, mage or rogue."
Mature - "So many prostitutes."
Open world - "You'll spend 10 minutes running or driving to your next mission. Also, we hid a bunch of Faberge eggs throughout the game that you can find for an achievement."
Over-the-top - "You're going to fight a dwarf."
Pre-order - "Give us money before the reviews arrive."
Pushes modern-day hardware to its limits - "Our game costs $60."
Realigning our resources - "We're laying off a ton of people."
Refocusing our efforts - "We're laying off a ton of people and now making mobile games."
Reimagining - "Remember that game you liked from the nineties? We made a shooter based on it."
Remastered - "Remember that game you liked from 2007? Pay $40 for better lighting."
Revolutionary - "This shooter's cover system is as momentous as the forcible overthrow of a government."
Retro-inspired - "The graphics are sub-par and there are no checkpoints."
Season Pass - "You've already gambled $60 on this game being good so why not gamble another $40 on the DLC?"
Shipped 1 Million Copies - "Retailers bought one million copies of our game at a discount but customers haven't bought all of them them yet. We're hoping no one knows the difference."
Spiritual successor - "Our new game is kind of like a sequel to an award-winning series but we don't want to get sued. Please donate to our Kickstarter."
Streamlined - "This sequel can be played with fewer buttons than previous games in the series."
Value - "Our Season Pass is a great deal because it's cheaper than buying DLC packs individually. Let's ignore the fact that not buying DLC packs is even cheaper."
Visceral - "Be prepared to fight demon babies."
Winner of multiple E3 awards - "There's one good level in our game and we showed it off at E3."
Did we miss any good ones? Let us know in the comments below.
Your Daily Blend of Entertainment News
Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.
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