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When an actor says "it’s an honor just being nominated," we now have a much better idea of exactly what they mean. Every year, the nominees for the Academy Awards' acting and directing categories receive the most extravagant swag bag known to man. What’s included in this year’s bag of goodies has now been revealed and, to say the least, Leonardo DiCaprio and company are making out like bandits. No wonder Will Smith is upset he wasn’t nominated. All 25 nominees are receiving gifts worth an excess of $200,000, and that’s just for showing up.

Needless to say, it’s not so much a gift bag as it is a gift steamer trunk based on all the stuff that’s included. The Hollywood Reporter has detailed everything that’s included and the list is extensive. While a few of the items seem downright normal, like wine and sweets, the rest of the list gets increasingly bizarre. There are no fewer than three different fitness packages included so that all of these stars can stay in red carpet shape, jewelry, including both necklaces and earrings, as well as an opportunity to donate 10,000 meals in the star’s name to an animal shelter or rescue organization, which is nice. There were five specific items that caught our eye however, as some of the most extravagant things we could conceive of.

- A walking tour from Walk Japan
- A year’s worth of fully-loaded Audi A4 rentals from Silvercar
- Dandi Patch underarm sweat patch
- Vampire breast lifts
- Nuelle Fiera Arouser for Her

Let’s start at the top, shall we? The walking tour of Japan is actually one of several free vacations available to the nominees but it’s our favorite because it sounds so rustic. Like Tom Hardy will be roughing it for a week in Japan. If you’re a celebrity who thinks actually owning a car is too much work, that’s ok because luxury car rental organization Silvercar will let Sylvester Stallone just rent an Audi for the next year, because why not?

Dandi, meanwhile, is a company who makes a patch to stick in your armpit to prevent you from sweating. Because anti-perspirant is too complicated? Vampire breast lifts are actually not a prosthesis for a sexy halloween costume, which is what we assumed they were at first, but a minor surgical procedure to inject a woman’s blood into her cleavage, which apparently revitalizes the breasts. We all learned something here today. Finally, the last item is exactly what you think it is. You now know more about Charlotte Rampling than you ever wanted to know. Maybe the phrase should be, "It’s a pleasure just being nominated."

So while you’re watching the Oscar’s in a couple weeks, remember that even the nominees who didn’t win still went home with more than they arrived with. And they all went home driving rented Audi’s.