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Helena Bonham Gets Lestrange

Helena Bonham Carter has been cast in the next Harry Potter movie as Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange. When we brought you this story the first time three months ago, I believe I said "Helena actually looks like she’s eaten death, so she’ll be a perfect fit."

I made myself laugh with that one.

This story is so old, it's no longer news. In fact, this is more like a funeral for something that was once news, but is now stale, musty cobwebs. This item is more like mothballing than reporting, so why the heck is everyone bothering with it?

Because Warner Brothers sent out a big, shiny press release announcing her casting, probably hoping to get more mileage and thus free advertising out of the story since even though everyone already knows about it, a perfectly spaced press release was never shopped around to the internet's hungry (and not very savvy) movie media.

There's nothing us media types like better than a press release. It frees us from having to put any effort into what we're writing. Just regurgitate and watch the traffic role in. No research necessary, the story confirmation is right there in front of you. Heck, a lot of sites just copy paste the press release right on to the page, or they quote the hell out of it to save themselves from having to write a few extra lines.

So why am I reporting it?

I'd like to tell you it's because I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to point out the lazy reporting of my competitors, but really it's because I know that re-reporting this story will mean a repeat in the same traffic benefits that reporting it the first time brought. I'm a sellout, just like everyone else. At least I'm honest about it, and I did something sort of original with it. I'll sleep like a baby tonight.

Most internet surfers (and some of you may have already noticed this, and if you haven't noticed I'm probably talking about you) are pretty stupid, and likely think the story is new anyway. Some of them will even think it's new after reading all of this. Just watch the comments section below for them. There's always at least one. Maybe I should have labeled the story "Cinema Blend Exclusive". Some of you would probably believe it. Everyone else is doing it, we probably should jump on that story stealing band wagon. Nah, I haven't sold out that much yet.

Harry Potter 5 hits theaters later and is directed by… wait this just in! The movie's being directed by British indie director David Yates (no relation to Andrea)! Remember, you heard it here first people.