Posters exist for movies that are coming out some time soon. We have them. We keep them to ourselves, but take pictures of them to prove to you that they actually exist. Then I make fun of them. Scroll down for a few that may have slipped through the cracks.
The looming shadow of Jim Carry continues to terrorize children in the newest poster for Lemony Snicket. In the original teaser poster, they only had the specter of his outlandish head to cope with, now they’re in danger from his entire vulture-like torso.
I’m not sure what this poster says about Alfie other that Jude Law is slight tussled and sexy. Or perhaps they’re trying to tell us that Jude Law is happy with remaking Alfie. Just look at how cool and calm he is! If he doesn’t mind, then why should you?
The dead have been given dune buggies or Trans Ams or something because they’re traveling fast in Stephen King’s Riding the Bullet. I’d be first in line for a movie that featured zombie driven go-karts; somehow despite the tagline I don’t think this is it. I think we’ll have to settle for a corpse driven Cadillac.
The talented director of Bend it Like Beckham has followed it up with a parody of Pride & Prejudice? Choosing a better name might have done wonders on this poster for Bride & Prejudice. It does feature what looks like Indian girls baring mid-rif though. That’s sort of Chandha’s trademark. Now someone explain why they’re posing in front of a circus.
It’s a little fuzzy, but this is my all time favorite poster featuring office supplies… unless there was one for Office Space featuring a red staplers stacked up into the shape of a Star Trek logo. See they made them in the shape of the Star of David… which doesn’t do much for breaking down Jewish stereotypes. I’ve never thought of bulk purchased office supplies as miraculous, but according to this one sheet for Paper Clips, maybe I should have.
This poster for Flight of the Phoenix reminds me too much of an ad for Con Air, a movie to which I hope this bears absolutely no resemblance. I’m also not sure why they are making such a big deal of pointing out the cast. None of those names are going to really excite folks, unless they are huge Lord of the Rings nerds, so what’s the point of printing them in huge flaming letters? I hope the plane manages to escape from Arnold Vosloo.
I can’t pass up an opportunity to post a little more Incredibles stuff, especially when it features Mr. Incredible surfing across a banner on his belly. They’re great character posters, I can’t wait to see them start showing up hanging on the wall of my local theater. I only wish they all had silly taglines like the one used for Mr. Incredible. That’s sort of my life motto, “No Gut, No Glory.” For lunch, I’m headed to Wendy’s.
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