With a little awards show happening, we have a couple of movies that will most likely not end up on the red carpet next year. But they aren’t without their own merit. We get a little dose of sensationalized history visiting the folks from 300 and Mr. Peabody.

Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.

300 movie poster
Rotten Watch Prediction
Because history is completely overrated and there is almost nothing to be learned from it at all, mostly because it happened "before" and I’m more concerned with what’s happening "now" or "next", I’d prefer to get most of my lessons in grandiose and overly-sensational ways. Does it need to be completely accurate? Of course not. I prefer glitz to facts, because our learning styles have shifted in such a way that surely a kid watching 300 will learn more about Ancient Greek and Persian political relations than any stuffy college hall lecturer could ever impart. Why we would bother learning about this stuff to begin with is beyond me, but if forced let’s put that shit in the hands of superimposition visual masters and dudes who love a little blood and guts. Now those are history teachers.

Want to see what I mean? Check out the trailer for 300: Rise of an Empire:

This follow up to 300 (60%) takes place before, during and after the events of that flick, in which King Leonidas and his band of "merry" men laid waste to a bunch of Persians. This latest follows the story of the naval battle that happened concurrent to the events in 300. But again, does anyone really care about the historical context? Doubtful. You’ve come to enjoy that Zach Snyder "look" (he produced and co-wrote it, doesn’t direct, but the flick is stylistically the same as the original) as a bunch of people with names no one can pronounce fight in varying degrees of slow and supersonic motion over a muted background. It looks kind of awesome.

The original scored much better with audiences than it did with critics, though it at least came out on the positive side with the latter group. I can’t imagine it will score as high as the first, but it looks too visually engaging to finish close to the bottom. Director Noam Murro (Smart People-50%) has some cult-following shoes to fill after 300, and it looks like he got the visuals right. Plus, it’s been long enough to not worry a great deal about style fatigue. But I have a feeling this is just kind of okay. Still better than 99% of history lessons though.

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