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It’s time now for you to see what a set of $5 million pistols looks like. Crafted in the 19th century, and molded with gold and other expensive gems, the pistols indicate their owner was no doubt wealthy with a slight flair for dramatics. He sits in the bar, pistols at the ready, waiting for some ruffian to start a squabble. He finds his moment, stands up and flourishes his pistols. The crowd gasps and is blinded by the value of the metals as the trigger is pulled and time stands still.

Then a bird comes out and sings a song. This is an insanely intricate and impressive technology by 19th century standards to be sure, especially when you look at the motions of the bird while it’s singing. Why, though, would anyone commission such undoubtedly expensive pieces?! The lavishness, the ridiculousness, and the overall impracticality of these guns are all very overwhelming. What type of man lies behind this madness?

Freres Rochat and his brothers were masters of the singing bird box back in the day. The brothers were known throughout Geneva for their over-the-top craftsmanship and dedication to the perfection of the singing bird box. Good to know they weren’t actual gunsmiths, as this is the type of weapon that would set the room ablaze with laughter, and then likely get you shot as it’s stolen from your well-lined coffers. Their reign on the singing bird box world lasted a hundred years before a changing of the guard ensued, but their work remains on display in various galleries around the world.

No information is available on the buyer of these items, except they paid 5.8 million dollars at the time of auction. It’s likely some faceless billionaire, but I’d like to think someone like Johnny Depp would have a flair for dramatics such as this. Heck, if I were the owner of these pistols I’d lend them to him to use in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie just so people have something to talk about after they exit the theater disappointed. Make it happen, anonymous billionaire; Hollywood needs you.

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