Former Playboy Playmate Arrested For Trying To Smuggle Man Over The Border

Former Playboy Playmate Colleen Shannon might not look like a coyote or a snakehead or any other animal euphemism used to describe people smugglers, but that’s exactly what Uncle Sam says the thirty-four-year-old is. Authorities arrested the model last night as she tried to cross from Canada into the United States, reportedly because they discovered an unidentified male hidden in her vehicle.

Rumor has it the unidentified male in question might be her boyfriend, but even if that is the case, Shannon could be facing a hell of a lot more than a slap on the wrist. According to TMZ, attempting to smuggle an alien into the country carries with it a maximum sentence of ten years in prison. Assumedly, Shannon has never been charged with human smuggling before; so, if she decides to plead out, it’s unlikely she would face anywhere close to ten years. Unfortunately, the plea could still require a couple of years in jail, which is probably not how she envisioned spending her thirty-fifth birthday.

You know how people engineer fake marriages in order to legally stay in the country? If this really was her boyfriend she tried to smuggle across, why the hell didn’t she just marry him? That’s not even a crime. That’s wanting to be with the person you love, and even if the ceremony would have been a little sooner than they would have liked, at least neither would be facing jail time.

In recent years, Shannon has reportedly been working as a deejay. Hopefully, that’s been lucrative enough for her to hire a good lawyer.

Mack Rawden
Editor In Chief

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.