VH1’s famed series, Behind the Music, often takes a look at cutesy backstage stories, band struggles, and sometimes trouble with drugs, weight, or drinking. For Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger, her Behind the Music experience was a chance to open up for the first time about the bulimia she struggled with for eight years.
By 2009, the problem had begun to take its toll on both Scherzinger and the Pussycat Dolls as a group. The girls could only watch as Scherzinger deteriorated in front of their eyes, and the singer says she was caught up in her own feelings of self-loathing. She’s come out of the disease on top, however, and really wants to make an impact on the numerous men and women caught up in the disease.
The 34-year-old singer is not proud of the struggles from her past. She calls her decision to speak out “embarrassing” and may only be bringing it up, now, in order to get invested with a PSA meant to help those struggling with the disease.
“It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right?
To hear the announcement, or catch more moments from the upcoming episode, head over to EW.
The Behind the Music episode airs tonight at 9 p.m. ET on VH1.