Get A Job

I didn’t laugh once watching Get A Job. Not even a chortle. Basically, I sat in silence in a room and watched an hour and a half pass me by while the comedy failed miserably at its one obligation. I’ve literally been to funnier funerals for a blood relative, and I’d happily sit through a car crash than be subjected to this turgid waste of celluloid again.

What makes Get A Job so infuriatingly bad, rather than the kind of film you hate and then completely forget about, is the all-star cast that it has at its disposal and disgracefully wastes. I mean, imagine watching the godlike genius that is Bryan Cranston flailing in a sea of crude, tasteless and unfunny gags? Or even briefly considering hating Anna Kendrick? It was a traumatic experience. One that I implore you not to go through yourself.

But it’s not just Anna Kendrick and Bryan Cranston’s careers that you’ll forever judge for being a part of Get A Job. Miles Teller, John C. McGinley, Alison Brie, Marc Maron, Chistopher Mintz-Plasse, Jay Pharoah, Jorge Garcia and Marcia Gay Harden, who as an Oscar winner really should have known better, each blot their careers with their participation in this pap.

Get A Job primarily revolves around Miles Teller's Will Davis and Anna Kendrick's Jillian Stewart, two recent college graduates who are struggling to find work in their desired professions. Over the course of the film, these two characters and their pals go through various trials and tribulations in their attempts to find their dream jobs, which even sees Will's father, Roger Davis (Bryan Cranston), become unemployed. All of which is just remarkably unfunny.

When you learn that Get A Job was originally shot back in 2012, things become a littler more clear. Obviously, CBS Films has been struggling with what to do with the film for quite a while. So it’s unsurprising that the studio’s now hoping to piggyback off the recent success of most of its cast by finally allowing it to be released. It’s just a shame, then, that Miles Teller, Anna Kendrick, Bryan Cranston et al will all be mortified that Get A Job is actually seeing the light of day.

I feel like it’s my duty to into more specifics about why Get A Job was so awful. But putting so much time and thought into its failings is more than its writer and director ever did. Basically, while it’s primarily a comedy without any funny jokes, it’s also full of loutish attempted gags involving deer semen, porn, strip clubs, and sex tapes, while each of the characters are spoiled little brats expecting success to come to them straight away.

If you’re unlucky enough to end up watching Get A Job, the only sliver of hope I have for you is that its final line is right up there with the most meaningless lines ever produced in cinema. But by that point, you’ll have either forever ostracized the person who brought you to see the film, or recognized things were only going to get worse and left admitting failure.

Because, quite frankly, Get A Job is the sort of film that evolution should have weeded out by now.

Gregory Wakeman