Warning: big time spoilers for Thunberbolts* *The New Avengers are in play. If you want to dodge the fine details, you’ve been warned.
A lot of people seem to be loving Thunderbolts* after seeing its 2025 movie schedule debut. I don’t begrudge anyone for feeling that way, as while walking out of my showing I thought it was a pretty fun romp myself.
But, then I started to pull some threads, and dig a little deeper into what I’d just seen - and the results were several points of order that add up to one overarching realization: I think I hate this story, and what it says about upcoming Marvel movies in the process. I know this isn't about to win me a lot of friends on the internet, but hear me out.
Taskmaster Is Done Super Dirty In This Plot, And So Are Most Of The Thunderbolts
I don’t care if we knew this was coming, because the way that Thunderbolts* dealt its hand of death to Antonia Dreykov (Olga Kurylenko), a.k.a. Taskmaster, was wrong. There was no name check, no set up for this character we haven’t seen since 2021’s Black Widow, and ultimately no stakes behind her death. And to think, she could have been best friends with fellow background hero Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen).
Bob’s Depression Plotline Is Super Surface Level
There is always room for new depictions of mental health issues in pop culture, if only to normalize discussing such personal issues through fiction. However, the story behind Bob (Lewis Pullman) and his tragic past feels like a broad brushstroke version of the subject.
We’ve seen other heroes in the MCU deal with trauma, like Tony Stark in Iron Man 3 and even Rocket Raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; and in a bit more depth than what was shown here. That said, I do look forward to Bob being resurrected in a more cohesive narrative...because he's Bob.
I’m Tired Of Black Widow Program Vets Being The Most Broken MCU Characters
I think by now we all know that the Red Room did some inhumane things to the girls that were “entrusted” into its care. There’s even a whole movie that deals with that very subject matter called Black Widow, and it’s available to stream with a Disney+ subscription. Yet, Yelena (Florence Pugh) hit some of the same notes that same film examined when going on her own Thunderbolts* journey.
Can we please stop reusing the “broken bird” trope for almost anyone who’s ex-Widow? I thought we were getting away from this when Captain America: Brave New World introduced the supposedly trauma free Ruth Bat-Seraph (Shira Haas); but clearly her spin-off movie will have to pick up the slack. I guess that “Marvel, but make it A24” gag has more truth to it than we expected.
Thunderbolts Is A HUGE Retread Of Earlier, Better Marvel Movies
I’d like to thank *The New Avengers title change for making this next gripe possible. I have a feeling if Thunderbolts* was released under that name in theaters, it’d inspire negative reviews joking about how that title fits what this movie is trying to do.
While we’re at it, this didn’t only feel like a lukewarm retread of The Avengers, it also seemed to crib the off-beat team dynamic of Guardians of the Galaxy, as well as the mental maze of madness and superpower that Dark Phoenix led us through so long ago. No amount of quirky jokes, needle drops, or reframing of classic MCU moments will change that.
Thunderbolts* Post-Credits Tease Is A Slap In The Face To Sam Wilson
If I had to pick one beef that really dented my shield, it’s Thunderbolts*’ post-credit scene. First of all, people on social media who pointed out that Pepper Potts would have filed the trademark paperwork the moment she and Tony Stark finished Avengers Towers’ construction are absolutely right.
Even putting that aside for the moment, though, you mean to tell me that Sam and Bucky would be in a feud over a second Avengers team? And it would take place after the Winter Soldier told him he was good enough to be the next Cap without Super Serum? I don't agree.
Marvel Has Entered Its Junk Drawer Era
It seems that Marvel Studios has been tying up loose ends lately. We previously saw the Captain America franchise hijacked by a psuedo-sequel to The Incredible Hulk, and now Thunderbolts* can technically be classified as a Black Widow follow-up. While I like the actors and characters involved, the story doing this was not nearly strong enough to feel satisfying, past the shock and awe of the 3D/4DX thrill ride.
Phase 5 has been exclusively sequels or stories following existing characters, with the Multiverse Saga not seeing a lot of new blood introduced as marquee names. The focus of the Infinity Saga doesn’t seem to be there, as Thunderbolts* is ultimately a haphazardly assembled team-up that stacks so many plates from the past, in order to tie up loose ends.
What's worse is we're supposed to readily know what movies/shows we need to brush up on to remember why these folks were so important in the first place. I think it’s safe to say that Marvel’s in the Junk Drawer era, and that's not a good place to be. Especially with the movies that are on deck to debut within the next two years.
I'm Less Excited About Marvel's Future After Thunderbolts*
Maybe The Fantastic Four: Next Steps will be a good way to move out of that field of fatigue, but I have a feeling that no matter how good that new film is, it won’t be enough. Cards of honesty on the table, I'm not exactly expecting Avengers: Doomsday or Avengers: Secret Wars to move mountains either, as that massive MCU cast list only digs deeper into the archives to drum up some "event cinema" excitement.
We'll see if I'm wrong starting this summer, when the First Family of Superheroes returns to the big screen on July 25th. If that effort is anything less than fantastic...you'll be able to hear my ranting shouts from wherever you are in the world.
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