Major spoilers below for the first two episodes of Marvel's WandaVision, so be warned!
If you're anything like me – my humble apologies, if so – then you were downright bewitched and glamoured by WandaVision's first two episodes (now streaming on Disney+). While fans likely would have been sated by just a single episode to start this brain-bending journey off, the doubled-up series premiere was a gift from the gods, or perhaps it was a room full of sentient robots with typewriters. Whatever the reason, darling, WandaVision was an exquisite delight while simultaneously serving as Marvel's creepiest live-action project yet.
For as much as WandaVision's visual aesthetic pays homage to various eras of classic television, the tone that creator Jac Schaeffer and director Matt Shakman bring to the (dinner) table would often feel at home in the same doomed cul-de-sac as a David Lynch (dinner) thriller. While giving plenty of credit to stars Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany for pulling Wanda and Vision's suburban nightmare off without a hitch, let's take a Stepford-stroll through Westview to briefly obsess over the most disturbing things we witnessed during WandaVision's first two episodes.
Kathryn Hahn’s Agnes
Rarely is casting so abundantly perfect as Kathryn Hahn taking on the role of the Wanda and Vision's hyper-sus neighbor Agnes. It's almost too perfect, though, because Agnes is too everything. She's the stereotypical nosy neighbor in the vein of Bewitched's Gladys Kravitz, but she's too invested in Wanda too quickly, with motives that clearly stretch beyond learning neighborhood gossip. (Though she doesn't seem too keen on ignoring such hearsay.) Hahn's energetic performance is the kind that quickly gets under my skin in the best way, where I'm continuously dreading the moment when she drops the act and reveals herself to actually be a bunch of sticky bugs in the form of Kathryn Hahn. Or whatever the case may be.
WandaVision's First Commercial Break
I love fake commercials within TV shows and movies, and especially in the metatextual way that the Toast Mate and Strücker watch ads are presented. So it's no surprise that the break during the premiere briefly veered into an unsettling moment as the toaster began to beep incessantly indicating the bread was about to pop out. Unsettling not only because actress Victoria Blade's expertly blank face stayed on screen a second too long, but because the light on the side of the appliance marked the first time in the series (as far as I could tell) that the black-and-white visuals were disrupted by the color red. I'm pretty sure that toaster was watching me the whole time, too.
Vision's Boss Choking At Dinner
And lo, the dinner scene arrived, causing the deep end of the weirdness to envelop us all! Things already seemed off-kilter once the great Debra Jo Rupp's Mrs. Hart remarked on her hunger-dizziness, but they got all batshit once the equally great Fred Melamed's Mr. Hart loudly questioned Wanda and Vision's memory issues before choking on his food. No one helped him initially, and his wife just kept repeating "Stop it!" over and over in a way that made me want to cough up whatever the last thing I ate was, if that would have cleared his airways. After way too long, Vision removed his boss' food clog at Wanda's command, and everyone went on about their evenings. I'd say the sudden casualness was just as creepy as the preceding moments, but nothing beats Rupp's incessant "Stop it!" pleas. (Let's not forget that Vision is technically dead, too.)
The Final Moments From WandaVision's Premiere
Our first foray into WandaVision ended on a Truman Show-esque reveal in which the fourth wall was completely shattered, with Wanda's Dick Van Dyke Show existence being monitored via TV screen by an unseen entity. That mysterious moment, which also first showed the symbol for the Marvel organization known as S.W.O.R.D., was altogether more chilling than outright creepy, and raised questions about whether how antagonistic the S.H.I.E.L.D. counterpart will be in this series. But because Wanda's life isn't being broadcast to a wide audience as it went in The Truman Show, I'm really pretty haunted by Wanda and Vision being stuck in time as completely meaningless credits scroll past their faces. What happens to them after the credits stop? WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM AFTER THE CREDITS STOP?
Wanda Finding The Red Helicopter
WandaVision's second episode starts off with Elizabeth Olsen's Wanda being wary of spooky noises, but that scene is played for comedy. A few minutes later, however, Wanda's colorless world is momentarily darkened by a bright red helicopter that crashed into one of the bushes in front of her house. It's truly as if she's attempting to understand the concept of this new-fangled dimension called "color," while also not understanding what a helicopter is, or what bushes are, or what her hands are. The fact that the device featured the S.W.O.R.D. symbol was no coincidence, either.
Geraldine Drifting In And Out Of Self-Awareness
Unlike the unknowns behind Agnes' true nature, viewers knew going into WandaVision that Teyonah Parris' Monica Rambeau would be involved in a remixed fashion, and Episode 2 introduced her as the kind and helpful neighbor named "Geraldine." At multiple points during the episode, from her stumbling over her introduction to her unwitting assistance in Vision's magic show, Geraldine becomes the only character other than Wanda and Vision to stand on the border between sitcom obliviousness and a greater awareness of things not being what they seem. The fact that she dips into that cognizance so fleetingly definitely makes one feel slightly less sane while watching.
The Radio Calling For Wanda
Buffy the Vampire Slayer vet Emma Caulfield Ford was a hoot as the snooty and self-important neighbor Dottie Jones, whose less-than-charming facade faded once both she and Wanda heard a distressed call coming through the nearby radio. It was another moment where WandaVision successfully used repetitious noise to drive up the tension, this time capping things off with the series' first bit of bloodshed. Dottie squeezed her glass until it shattered in her hand, and just when it appeared like she may have snapped out of her predetermined narrative path, she told Wanda an audience-pleasing zinger and walked away, presumably to assumedly get that hand stitched up. (Although it would be cool if her hand just got progressively worse throughout the rest of the episodes.)
WandaVision's Neighbors Being Confused By Real Magic
Vision's talent show performance centered on a twist of a classic magical sitcom set-up: Vision would gum-drunkenly do something seemingly impossible for the neighborhood crowd, and Wanda would use her magic to unveil how "the tricks" were accomplished. What made this sequence work so well is the genuine befuddlement on everyone's faces upon seeing Vision's impossible actions. It's very understandable why Wanda so quickly placated their illusionary expectations, since the neighbors looked like they were about three contemplative seconds away from grabbing pitchforks and torches and demanding Dr. Frankenstein come out of his castle. I do kind of wish that there were a few "lost" Bewitched episodes that also featured that kind of authentic disbelief.
Wanda Realizing She's Pregnant
"For the children!" That cult-y line already made one of my eyes twitch when the neighbors said it, and then my other eye's twitch kicked in when Wanda and Vision uttered the same sentiment on their couch. My whole face started contorting itself, however, after Wanda got up to grab some popcorn, and then whiz bang boom, she was pregnant for a robot. (Something that I feel also happened in a never-produced Urkel Bot-heavy Family Matters script.) That live-changing development was a lot to handle, and it was both disturbing and heartbreaking that Wanda's reaction was to ask Vision if it was really happening. Because it's not. At least not like this.
The Beekeeper's Arrival
Immediately after Wanda's belly grew with child(ren), she and Vision were interrupted by a noise similar to the one from the opening scene, only this time there was something much weirder to blame. They watched as the weird-ass beekeeper first seen in the trailers climbed out of a manhole cover, which made for a fairly terrifying visual in the Candyman vein. Though he looked to be quite menacing, the suit he was wearing had a big S.W.O.R.D. logo on the back, so maybe he wasn't such a bad guy? Viewers didn't get to find out, though, since Wanda suddenly hit rewind on life and went back to the pregnancy discovery, inciting a transition to a more 1970s TV aesthetic. Remember that Brady Bunch episode where Marsha rewound time to stop her nose from being demolished by that football?
Honorable Mention: Wanda and Vision's Empty Fridge
I had to further indulge by adding this entry. One of the first jokes in WandaVision's premiere pointed out that Vision doesn't eat food, and Wanda offered a retort about not having any food in the refrigerator. The oddball humor seemed fine in the moment, but it stuck with me for the rest of the episode, and dug deeper when Wanda had to rely on Agnes for dinner supplies. It's implied that Wanda never really eats anything either, though never outright stated like it is with Vision, which is enough to give me the heebie-jeebies in and of itself. The empty fridge was our very first sign of how broken this reality is, but because it's only creepy in hindsight, it's stuck here at the bottom.
Let us know below what you thought the creepiest moments were in WandaVision's first two episodes, and don't forget to watch new episodes hitting Disney+ every Friday at 3:01 a.m. ET. While waiting to see what bonkers moments are on the way, head to our Winter and Spring TV premiere schedule to take note of all the other big premieres that are on the way soon.