Entitled Storage Wars: Dallas, A&E has just announced a spinoff to their ultra-successful reality program. The new offering will follow an entirely new cast as they wheel, deal and speculate to try to double or even triple their initial investments. Part of me is elated at this news, and part of me is rolling my eyes with frustration. My roommate has the original on season pass, and like a tractor beam I get sucked in every single week. I’m almost positive large elements of it are faked, but I can’t get enough of cool little trinkets from history. Storage Wars is like a lowclass Pawn Stars, where instead of using logic to make sound purchases, each man first tries to screw his opponent over before even attempting to make money. Only time will tell if the new cast is also willing to trade profits for spite.

In addition to Storage Wars: Dallas, A&E has also announced numerous renewals and pick-ups. Among those earmarked to return are The Glades, Dog The Bounty Hunter, Billy The Exterminator, Intervention, Manhunters, Parking Wars, Hoarders, The First 48, Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels and Beyond Scared Straight. No real surprises on that list, but the pick-ups contain a few head scratchers like Boar Hunters, a chronicle of a family that disposes of hogs by any means necessary and my personal favorite, Ship Happens, about truckers that move odd-sized loads like airplanes and goats.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the network also okayed a few pilots to go into production. The list is too long to cover all of them, but let me give you a few highlights. There’s Family Bonding, a show where siblings are handcuffed together, Hands On, another one where idiots will win prizes by keeping their hands on objects for long periods of time and of course, Duckmen about a family business that manufactures numerous duck-related products. I would be very surprised if any of those made it to series, but then again, I never saw Ship Happens coming.

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