Most of you guys remember the 1990s, right? (A question that both haunts and amuses me.) This was arguably the peak time for advertising aimed at kids whom the advertisers took for robotic minions. Popular YouTube channelr RocketJump has created the perfect throwback to that era of awful commercials with the video below, which gets insanely gruesome at times. Be warned.
“Every 90s Commercial Ever” would be the ideal ad to see while watching the horrifically hilarious Adult Swim short Too Many Cooks, while aping the kinds of commercials one would see while watching Bobby’s World on Fox Kids. The general approach: a bunch of children get into a group-mood where fun just isn’t cutting it, and Mom steps in with some unhealthy sugar-laden substance that just so happens to be everyone’s favorite thing. It’s a solid sales tactic.
But in the case of Liquid Slam’s Big Game drink, successful advertising would likely turn its customer base into one giant homogenized monster. And it would be amazing. As far as I can tell, Pizza Pigskins are still perfectly safe, and they cure mourning the death of a friend or family member in a snap. Of course, they're also only prepared when groups of kids are around, which presents an easy target for Big Game monsters like this.
The whole T-1000 human liquidization comes from those Capri Sun commercials that were created with the thought process that children would love to be flying globs of amorphous people-juice. And they were right. Remember when Alex Mack would do that?
And the whole “Mom’s got all the answers” angle reminds me most of the Sunny Delight (or Sunny D) commercials. It seems like there were different ones following the same pattern where purple shit is dismissed completely, but maybe it was just all one commercial, and only I had changed. In any case, Sunny D is definitely worth reliving below. Be warned that absolutely no one turns into a gut-eviscerating monster in this one.
Next year’s Super Bowl needs more Liquid Slam ads. Somebody give RocketJump $10 million to play around with.