Hello, hello. Welcome one and all to this, the recap marking the beginning of the 22nd season of Survivor. Hopefully I can keep all of you who didn’t take the time to watch the show yourselves up to speed, or, if you did watch it and just want to review the episode’s goings-on as told by a guy with too much time on his hands, then welcome to you as well.
If you missed my season preview a few days ago, you may want to go back and take a look here.
This will effectively introduce you to all the players, as well as explain the rules of this season’s newest twist, Redemption Island. I would ask that you review this before continuing, because I will not be rehashing it here. There’s going to be enough to talk about without covering old ground.
During the opening credits, it’s interesting to note that the only faces we see are those of the sixteen contestants that aren’t Boston Rob and Evil Russell. I guess the network wants to keep their introduction a surprise for at least another five minutes, to all viewers who didn’t see Rob and Russell plastered square on the cover of TV Guide this week. Seriously?
A military cargo plane lands on a beach, depositing Jeff and sixteen strangers into the heavily camera-ed wilderness. The two predetermined teams take their place on the various mats, and Jeff bids them welcome, eliciting a whoop of joy from all assembled. Jeff then relates that two more players will be joining them, and, right on cue, a helicopter lands nearby. The reactions are really mixed. When Boston Rob appears, they all go, “Oh yes!” And when Evil Russell appears, everyone is like “Oh no…”
Stephanie relates in interview that if she’s on Russell’s tribe, she’ll immediately be wise to his chicanery, knowing full well that Russell-speak for “I want to take you to the end” translates as “You’re going home next”. Jeff introduces the duo to the rest, listing their accomplishments, namely that they have loads of experience in playing the game, are both leaders, and are both power players… who have never won. Francesca pipes up that they are not so much leaders as predators. Rob and Russell draw their buffs, with Rob going to Ometepe and Russell going to Zapatera.
Jeff then also explains about Redemption Island, and how voted-off contestants will be send to a solitary place to survive on their own, with naught to do but find a way to sustain themselves while they await the next voted-off contestant for some kind of showdown, with only the victor remaining in the game. At a certain point, the contestant left standing will rejoin the game (I’m guessing that point will be right before the jury starts getting empaneled).
Finally, Jeff gives the tribes a map to their camp, and informs them that it is the rainy season, so they’d better haul ass in getting a shelter constructed. And as they leave, I notice that more than a few players are not exactly dressed for the wilderness. David is wearing a suit and tie, and Francesca is sporting a cleavage-showing evening gown, just to name a few. Which makes me wonder if they were whisked out of their hotel rooms and shoved onto that transport plane at a moment’s notice, because if I were joining Survivor, I would be dressed at all times in the clothes that I would prefer to be wearing for the next month, wouldn’t you?
When Zapatera reaches camp, Russell, ever the strategist, make the announcement that he’s not there to sabotage anyone, because that would be stupid given that everyone already knows him. He also promises his tribe that they’re in for the toughest experience of their lives, which I admire him for saying, because it’s true, particularly if the rain is going to be as prevalent as Jeff promised. Still, one can only wonder just how far Russell’s tribe will trust him.
The powers that be have decided that, in order to make the job of shelter-constructing easier given the urgency, to give the tribes a box of Craftsman tools and supplies, which is pretty sporting. (Perhaps too sporting?) Steve’s and Ralph’s eyes light up, being middle-aged guys with tons of experience as amateur handymen. Ralph’s hooks up his overalls (yes, he came in overalls, and I love him already) and gets to work.
Ometepe, so far, seems to running smoothly. Rob and his construction experience is already shining through, and Matt and Natalie admit to being a bit star-struck. Phillip, meanwhile, is the first contestant that seems to be rubbing a few others the wrong way. Setting himself up as the foreman, he proceeds to tell some of the ladies the right way to dig holes and such, ruffling the feathers of Francesca (that didn’t take long) and Andrea. Phillip also is the first to make a bold move in the game: he reveals to most of the women that he is a former Federal agent, and is an expert when it comes to knowing whether people are being honest or not. He promises that his services will be valuable when it comes time to merge, and also reveals that, coming from a huge family that includes seven sisters, he knows how to deal with a large group in a small space. Francesca, however, scoffs in interview, stating that she doesn’t believe him, and is not impressed. I didn’t think I would like her, and so far I’m right.
Kristina, meanwhile, has taken the initiative and started searching the tools and supplies for a clue to a Hidden Immunity Idol (henceforth referred to as the HII), but is unable to locate it. Rob sees her searching, but surreptitiously lets her know that he approves, and will try to give her more time. Hee hee. Phillip wastes no time in allying himself with Kristina, the closest to him in age, and warns her that Rob will probably try to get the young girls on his side
Over at Zapatera, Russell has chosen Stephanie (big surprise) to be “that girl”. Ooh, Steph, I really hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. Guess what, it may already be too late. Russell going off with Stephanie has been noticed by Chris, Mike and Sarita, and they already have sussed out that Russell is going back to his playbook, with Step 1 being (as quoted by Chris) “take a cute little girl and turn her into the villainess”. Mike interviews that Russell is a bad influence that they need to get him out as early as possible. Good luck, dude, many have tried and failed…
After the commercial break, we see that it is already Day 3. After Kristina interviews once again that her goal is to get Boston Rob out ASAP, the scene melts to her, alone, shovel in hand, searching for clues to the whereabouts of the HII. Taking a page from Evil Russell’s book, she starts her search near obvious landmarks, and after only a couple of minutes, she locates it underneath a rock near a large palm tree. Almost immediately, she buries it in an easy-to-remember location so she can retrieve it later (and hopefully where no one else will accidentally stumble onto it). I will remind everyone that based on the CBS.com interviews, I was rooting for Kristina to win. And she’s already found the first bargaining chip. Go Kristina!
Kristina opines her strategy about voting off Rob to the only two other over-30 people on her tribe (besides Rob), Francesca and Phillip. And Phillip’s analytical brain is already on overdrive. Honestly, the guy already bugs the crap out of me. He’s arrogant and condescending, two qualities I loathe. He takes about 200 words to explain that they need more than the three of them to get Rob out, so it’s something they’ll have to work on. As he walks off, Francesca and Kristina share an awesome “WTF?” look between them.
Immunity Challenge. I always love the first IC of the season, because it’s always very physical and you can usually tell who the strongest people are. The challenge itself is a complicated series of tasks that include pushing blocks of stones to form steps up to one level, where one player will use an ax to chop a rope that releases another set of steps, leading to a top level where the team must assemble a 3D pyramid-shaped puzzle. First team to finish the puzzle wins immunity and a flint for making fire. Zapatera, which has the advantage of having a 5:4 men/women ratio as opposed to Ometepe’s 4:5, takes the early lead, but complex puzzles are great equalizers. Still, Zapatera’s lead proves to be too much to overcome, and they win.
So let the scrambling begin. Kristina confesses to Francesca that she has the HII, and Francesca is skeptical, but listens to Kristina’s plan, which is to get the young girls to vote for Kristina, and then Kristina will use the HII to take Rob out. Francesca is doubtful, however, that getting rid of Rob first is in the best interest of the tribe, because he’s one of the strongest guys. I have to agree. Francesca then (correctly) explains that voting off Rob first will piss off the young girls (and Grant), and they don’t have the numbers on their side yet, so their target should be young Natalie. Hmm. As I said, I don’t know if I like Francesca yet, but she’s already proven to be a better player than NaOnka would be if she lived to be a million. Kristina promises to take Francesca’s words under advisement.
Rob explains in interview that he sees the biggest threats as being Francesca (who called him out on the mat) and Kristina (who he caught looking for the HII).. In fact, Rob is convinced that Kristina may already HAVE the HII, so he grabs his cadre of six and proposes that the three guys (himself, Grant and Matt) vote for Kristina and the three girls (Andrea, Ashley and Natalie) vote for Francesca. Which means that if Kristina, Francesca and Phillip vote for Rob or Natalie, it will be a three-way tie. And if Kristina plays the HII, there will be a re-vote and Francesca will probably go to Redemption Island first. Good plan, Rob.
Of course, from Kristina’s POV, this means brining Phillip on board, and so, against her better judgment, she informs him that she has the HII. This seems to satisfy Phillip’s analytical brain for the moment. In interview, Phillip (who creepily sometimes refers to himself in the third person) relates that it’s Rob’s time to go so that he can take over as tribe leader. Um, yeah, Rob isn’t Rob because he doesn’t see two moves ahead, Phil.
Tribal Council. Ometepe enters the TC area, a flattened-off pyramid with a thatched roof. They grab their torches and light them, and Jeff begins the Q&A. He asks Rob what camp life was like on Day One, and Rob replies that his team pulled together to get the shelter up in short order, with Phillip taking point. Phillip adds that while he may not be the leader, he’s a very good organizer, which elicits a few raised eyebrows. Jeff asks Francesca why someone might be voted out tonight, and she replies that the vote should be made to keep the tribe as strong as possible, which means it’s probably a woman going home. He asks Kristina how she feels (does Jeff know?), and Kristina convincingly responds that she’s very worried, and has even brought her limited belongings just in case.
Jeff then asks Francesca about the prospect of Redemption Island, and she agrees that it does add a level of complexity to the game that was never there before. She adds that if Rob was voted out, he would probably be fine on RI, but that it probably won’t happen. Phillip then opens his yap and reveals that Francesca and Kristina told him to vote for Rob. I mean, seriously? You call out your ally for lying at TC? He then soliloquizies about what a stand-up guy he is, and blah blah fishcakes, he’s be voting for Francesca. Rob grins like a Cheshire cat. Kristina thinks that Phillip is “unstable”, and I’m not sure she’s wrong. Phillip then reveals that Kristina has the HII, and he is now dead to me. What a pinhead. Has he ever seen this game before?
This comes as a surprise to everyone on Rob’s alliance, and Rob asks Francesca and Kristina if their plan was indeed to get him out, and they deny it., saying their target was Natalie. Rob asks Kristina to produce the HII for his eyes, and she obliges. Rob then says he doesn’t know whether to believe Kristina or Phillip, and then tells Kristina that he’ll keep her around if she gives him the HII. She refuses, and Jeff finally calls for the vote.
One by one they vote. Rob votes for Francesca, grinning about how nice it is to play with “amateurs who can’t keep their mouth shut”. Natalie, unsurprisingly, votes for Kristina. Francesca votes for Phillip. And that’s all we see. Jeff collects the urn, and Kristina opts to NOT play her HII. Hmm. Anyway, out come the slips. Kristina. Kristina. Francesca. Phillip. Francesca. Phillip. Kristina. Francesca. And… Francesca. So it would appear that Kristina made the right move in not playing the HII, but she and Phillip are obviously the next to go. Which sucks for Kristina, and me.
Francesca’s torch is snuffed, and she and her gown make the walk (torch in hand) to Redemption Island. Wonder how much footage she’ll get next week. Speaking of: next week, Russell squares off with Ralph. Phillip goes hunting. And Francesca undergoes her first task. See you in seven, and be sure to catch my Amazing Race season premiere recap this weekend!
