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TV Recap: Celebrity Apprentice - ACN

So, I missed last week. I was in NYC, and my babysitters deleted my DVR. From what I can gather, the women won the wedding dress challenge – and the Playboy gal was the PM. She hands a mighty big check ($166,000+) to her charity (something about hot dogs – yeah, surprising, I know).

Also last week, Tom Green was fired, which left Dennis Rodman with some ruffled feathers. He and Clint Black have it out in the post-boardroom area, right in front of the women. Clint Black seems like a dick – and I’ve always thought that. He just comes across as pompous (which is so much worse than arrogant), and he thinks he is *always* right.

Rodman on the other hand is playing the black sheep martyr. He claims it doesn’t bother him, but it sure seems like he wants to run to his momma and cry when he feels like people don’t like him. Kinda gives me some new insight into his antics.

In a surprise treat, there will be little to no Joan Rivers on this week’s show. Woo-Hoo! Trump says she’ll be checking in later – probably via the video phone they are promoting this week. ACN is the company, Brian McKnight is KOTU’s PM, and Claudia Jordan is Athena’s. The PM of the winning team is set to get a paltry $20K for their charity.

The teams go into the room where they are going to have the event, and they have to negotiate to decide who goes first. Rodman refuses to participate. Neither side will budge on wanting the second slot; and Rodman launches into an obscenity laced tirade on Clint Black. No, like he goes straight up crazy on him, and then seemingly quits. We’ll see on that last one. Jesse wants Rodman back, but the rest of the team thinks they will do better without him.

Both teams meet with the ACN bigwigs, and head off in their respective directions. The men come up with a great idea – oh wait, Jesse came up with one. He wants Brian to be the star of the show – giving the ACN reps something exciting to see besides the phone. THEN, he comes up with the genius idea of showing the phone in action, utilizing troops and their families.

The women decide they really need Joan to perform at their event. They also decide to do a similar theme with a mom & baby on one end, and the dad live on stage to be more impactful. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen – do these gals even know how technology works??

In the midst of the planning, Joan calls to say she won’t be back in time, and I suddenly realize that Claudia has suspenders on her pants. I know the 80’s are coming back, or whatever, but that is one style that doesn’t look good on anyone but Grandpas. The golf chick (Natalie?) steps up and gets her jet to fly to Dallas and pick up Joan and get her in here on time.

Don Jr. comes in to check on the ladies, and while he looks like he’s lost a lot of weight, his hair is bordering on ridiculous. Have you ever seen anything like that on anyone buy Opera Guy from SNL?

The men head out to West Point to film their little video, and it’s 50 miles away. This may cause issues later, but it also may be completely worth it. Brian and Jesse are working like dogs – but they are excluding Clint, and he doesn’t like it. He keeps trying to get them to “bounce” ideas off of him, but they basically ignore him. They set him to making calls, and he offends all of the Virtual Assistants in the world by saying any “bonehead” can make phone calls. Nice. He just dropped from dick to douchebag in my book.

Back to Athena – and Melissa is totally against everything Claudia says. Melissa is, as Claudia called it, a spoiled brat. She clearly never had to share her toys, or let other people have their way. Do you think she knows she’s starting to look like that woman who tried to make her face look like a lion? Claudia also pins it when she says that Melissa is only famous because of her mom. No doubt, there.

Ivanka shows up to check on the boys, and Dennis is still not participating. She encourages the men to stop acting like babies and work together. Dennis tries to play the “Brian can’t blame it on me” card, but I don’t think it’s going to play out the way he wants it to.

The men hit a setback when they realize that they are going to be hit with a $4800 charge for video monitors. Dennis steps up and offers to have his people set up monitors for free. Brian actually begins to turn him down – which would surely end up in his firing. But, Dennis says he is trying to contribute, and they need to let him.

The ladies are crashing and burning with their baby – and showing that none of them are moms. Patience is more than a virtue, and babies are very intuitive. That poor baby could totally sense their tension, and it was not going well.

Jesse and the boys show up at West Point, and they pick a cute guy to be their actor. They get the video shot, and they aren’t sure if it’s going to be good or bad.

Clint and Dennis try to make up – and they sort of do when Clint asks Dennis to take him to a gay bar. Wouldn’t that be a sight!

So, it’s time for the presentations. Trump gets up and blabs for a few minutes. He is so taken with himself it’s ridiculous.

Joan goes first. She’s got a bunch of dancers with ribbons and she yells at the crowd. A mix of video and real life people demonstrates the phone. Joan makes some nasty jokes about her and her Gyno. The women think they’ve got it in the bag.

The men rock it with a little show by Brian and an amazing video that really said it all. The people were just amazed.

The men talk through the issues they had, and the women throw each other under the bus. Claudia actually says Joan is a rockstar, and Joan turns around and says Claudia sucks.

Enough, enough, enough – the Men won by a landslide. Like 80% of the voters voted for the men. I try not to be biased, but I’m kind of glad the men pulled this one out this week.

The ladies go through the motions, stabbing each other in the back, throwing each other under the bus. Claudia and Melissa get nasty with each other, and quite honestly, I’m hoping Trump fires them both. It’s just ridiculous the way they treat each other.

In the end, Claudia is fired. And I find that I really couldn’t care one bit less.