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TV Recap: Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives is really one of my favorite shows, and it’s been overshadowed lately by my recaps for Celebrity Apprentice. I’ve not been getting them both done, because for some crazy reason I decided to try to stop drinking caffeine, and it’s been limiting my work time. Okay, it’s been limiting my whole life. But, I’m officially off the “stuff”, and I’m ready to go – now that the season is about over…of course…

So, last week, Lynette and Tom were trying to reconnect – but underneath it all, Tom was just trying to find something to be passionate about; Gaby’s daughter Juanita snuck out of the house with makeup on – but it was just because Gaby makes her feel not pretty; Bree decided to hire Susan’s ex, Carl, to get her out of her marriage to Orson – and keep her business in tact; and Susan decided to marry Jackson (you know the guy with terrible hair) so he can stay in the US (he’s Canadian). Ooh, and the police have identified the Dr. who died in the bar fire – and they are asking Dave about it.

This week, is no less crazy…

Bree and Carl start setting up some crazy accounting to get her money away from Orson. Then, Carl suggests they break in to the house and steal jewelry, art, and other stuff Orson is going to end up with. Bree is frustrated and doesn’t want to go to those lengths, but Carl helps her envision Orson and his next bimbo using her things. Bree eventually caves and they plan the deed. I’m pretty sure those two are going to sleep together.

While Bree and Carl are breaking into the house, he tells her that she is too frigid, and she breaks Orson’s award to try to prove she isn’t.

Susan and Jackson prepare to get married, but she doesn’t know what to do when he says she can’t tell anyone. To prove that they are a real couple, they have a little party, and it comes out that Mike is paying her alimony, and he’s pretty happy he doesn’t have to pay it anymore. This is almost a deal breaker for Susan, ‘cause she’s relying on that check.

Gaby thinks Juanita is getting a little bit snooty, so they head over to the soup kitchen so Juanita can see how the poor live. Gaby runs into an old rich friend, and realizes that she may be a bit of a diva too. It’s amazing how fast they turned Gaby back into a bitch. Turns out Gaby’s old pal Fran isn’t poor because she boozed it up, or turned into a meth head – her husband got a tumor and died, leaving her penniless. Gaby gets a dose of reality and realizes that though they made it through Carlos’ time as a blind man, they could still lose it all.

Tom is feeling like a dinosaur, and when his old college buddy shows up at Jackson & Susan’s party, it gets worse. Tom decides the only solution is plastic surgery. Am I the only one who thinks Marc Cherry is running out of ideas? Lynette thinks she can nip it in the bud by bringing home a co-worker with a bad nip/tuck, but she really gets to Tom when she explains that his wrinkles represent their life together.

In the best news of the night – Mike proposes to Katherine, and she says yes. Yay, Yay, Yay. Best couple ever.

In the end, Jackson is hauled away by Immigration after a tip from none other than Dave Williams. The only thing I’m worried about is that Mike and Kat may not end up getting hitched after all…