TV Recap: Hell's Kitchen - I Need Her Beef!

Previously: Vanessa will not quit…until she does. LouRoss and Rosann screwed up, but due to Vanessa’s departure, no one was eliminated.

20 seconds in and I’ve already learned if not the meaning of life, then certainly a meaning of life when Christina informs us that she’s “the total package.” Apparently, the total package is made up of these parts: Looks great in heels, can read a book, and can cook. So take note everybody, and maybe you won’t die alone—no matter what your sister tells you.

The teams meet Ramsay at the farmer’s market for today’s challenge, where he informs them that they’re throwing a sweet 16 birthday party. Each team has 25 minutes and $100 to go through the market and come up with one appetizer and two entrées. When they get back to Hell’s Kitchen, they have 45 minutes to prepare their menu and serve it.

The Red team is confident and agrees on a plan right off the bat. The Blue team, on the other hand, has no idea what’s going on. All they know is that they’re not listening to a word Matt has to say. Now, that’s obviously a good strategy, but unfortunately for the viewer, it leads to him repeating some variation of, “hey, there’s a little supermarket over there” over and over like Rain Man.

The teams are about ready to present their dishes, and Matt is still upset that no one has been listening to his suggestions. Ramsay asks if anyone has been to a Sweet 16 party lately, and only Matt raises his hand. Ramsay asks him if he influenced the menu and he throws his team under the bus and says “no.” Now, I’m not entirely sure that lurking in the bushes wearing a trench coat counts as “attending” a Sweet 16 party, but let’s give ol’ Matty the benefit of the doubt. However, the fact remains is that every idea he has revolves around raw food that makes people vomit. So, you know, maybe there’s a reason he doesn’t have much influence on what these kids are going to eat.

Ramsay brings the birthday girl and her mother in to judge the food. The first appetizer that the Red team presents is a shrimp scampi, while the Blue team has a stuffed chicken wing. Apparently this girl has never tasted shrimp before, which strikes me and the Red team as kind of odd, so she’s definitely predisposed to liking the chicken wings better. So unsurprisingly, she chooses the Blue Team’s dish “hands down.”

The second round is entrees. The Red team has a Caribbean halibut with mango salsa, while the Blue team has a sweet potato mash with sautéed shrimp and asparagus. The mother says that the fish is dry and the rice is undercooked on the Red team’s dish, so that’s not a good start. However, the birthday girl doesn’t like asparagus at all, and is deciding she doesn’t really care for shrimp, so she goes with the Red team’s dish.

The third dish is the tiebreaker. Corey’s dish is a flank steak with homemade French fries and a pomegranate sauce, while Petrozza has grilled filet mignon. While she’s unsure about both, the birthday girl actually chooses the guys’ dish, based on her mom’s suggestion that she takes all of the palettes into account. As their punishment for losing, the Red team has to decorate Hell’s Kitchen for the party, while the Blue team gets to drive around in Go Karts and eat junk food.

The Blue team gets off to a good start at dinner service, while Christina struggles a little bit with the risotto. Both teams get it together though and get all of their appetizers out. They start on entrées, and Melissa’s (the birthday girl) beef is undercooked enough for her to send it back. Meanwhile, Melissa’s mother sends her halibut back because it’s dry. Rosann tries to make Melissa’s entrée correctly, but eventually, Ramsay just pushes her aside and cooks it himself. Meanwhile, Matt can’t seem to get the halibut right, so Bobby takes over and sends it out.

In the end, both teams manage to complete dinner service. However, there’s one more outside ready to play a show for her. It’s definitely worth mentioning that she doesn’t seem like she has any idea who they are. Back inside, all of the party guests filled out comment cards. 98% of people served by the Blue team say that they’ll come back, while 99% of the Red team’s customers say that they’ll come back. Ramsay says that thanks to their performance, there is no losing team. However, each team must choose one member for elimination, so there doesn’t seem to be a winning team either.

Matt says he knows that he’s the one his team is going to pick, so he forgoes the discussion and just packs his bags. The Red team, however, is choosing between Rosann and Shayna. In the end, The Blue team does in fact choose Matty. The Red team nominates Shayna, which is stupid. Ramsay tells Matt, Shayna and Rosann to step forward.

When Ramsay asks each one why they should stay, the women mention their families, their dedication, and blah, blah, blah. Matt, however, takes this opportunity to cry about how Bobby bullied him and pushed him off of his station. Ramsay basically calls him a loser for letting Bobby push him off his station. Ramsay, inexplicably lets him stay while telling Shayna to leave. This is definitely a weird decision. Matt hasn’t done anything good, ever. Ramsay, however, seems to enjoy the idea of Matt cooking with the women, so he puts him on the Red team. I thought Ramsay said that there wasn’t a losing team; apparently that’s not true.

Next time: Matt’s still whining and the ladies are not enjoying having him on their team.