For all their pointlessness and injuries (okay, so there was technically only one, but I consider J-B’s leaving behind Audrina’s helmet a figurative injury), Brody’s parties totally trump the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Party. It’s understandable that Hills producers jumped at the idea of showcasing a celebrity-saturated event on the show, but there’s nothing amusing about Emmy Rossum and Hayden Panettiere pretending there aren’t any cameras around them as they wait on a backed-up line to get into a party with people below them (with the exception of Hilary Duff—who really did look like she didn’t know the cameras were there). Perhaps the producers were too lazy to come up with another vaguely naturalistic script or Whitney’s Season 3 contract has something in it about a requisite amount of air time double that of last season, but, clearly, she got her ten minutes in before this week.
As Lauren and Whitney frantically ran the Young Hollywood Party, the parallels between Heidi’s job at Bolthouse and Lauren and Whitney’s responsibilities were blatant—I mean, is there any difference between what Heidi does on a regular basis and what Lauren and Whitney did on this super-special occasion? Lauren and Whitney had some ultimately harmless setbacks (anyone else think the not-so-crafty editing only made it look like they were having communication troubles?), but Lisa Love was all (creepy) smiles. I know it’s past Halloween, but Lisa Love’s new buddy-buddy demeanor with Whitney exudes seasonal appropriateness.
The Young Hollywood Party was abuzz with C-list tweens and Hayden Panettiere, but Heidi’s twenty-first birthday dinner had Spencer (and the blinged-out Chanel bag he bought her). Heidi, who somberly reflected on her laid-back birthday plans over lunch with Kimberley (could that friendship be any more forced?), glowed when Spencer gave her the bag, but her uneasiness was always apparent, especially after the two lone birds, er, love birds, had nothing left to say to each other. If the poignancy on Heidi’s face as she considered her lonesome birthday didn’t tug your heartstrings, then you’re just pure ice, or you were too distracted by her new nose.
It was hard to feel sympathy for Audrina, or, rather, even know whether she needed sympathy, on her warped date with J-B (whose subtitle is now officially: Audrina’s boyfriend!). After seeing The Ruse—a band who must’ve had with some kind of agreement with the show—Audrina (who, by the way, looked suicidal during the concert) told them they were good and that she’d pass their CD around in Epic, getting her and J-B an invite to the after-party. A band member justifiably flirted with Audrina (it was in no way obvious that J-B was her boyfriend), who soon got a sketchy invite for the after-after-party. When he asked J-B whether there was anything going on between them, J-B just kept saying, “She’s pretty good.” The ambiguity continued as J-B walked home with Audrina, but things became clearer when they acknowledged the bizarre dynamics of their relationship, and J-B even admitted, “we work so well together.” Now, I know the WGA strike won’t affect The Hills, even if it is scripted, but it’s dialogue moments like this that make you appreciate a writer’s gift.
