TV Recap: How I Met Your Mother-- You're Riding the Unicycle Tonight

Either you can’t say the word “threeway” on television, or the HIMYM kids have their own creative word for orgy--I can’t decide which. The fact that a threeway has made a appearance on this show is almost hard to believe, but things are looking up for ol’ Ted Mosby, and he pretty much hits the jackpot when he goes to MacClaren’s by himself that night. Why does he go by himself, you ask? Well, that brings us to our top five.

1. Wii tennis I’m not sure why it made me so happy to see Wii make an appearance on television (has it been on any other show? Any experts want to help me with that one?), except that it confirms my ongoing suspicion that HIMYM is, in fact, my life. As my neighbor Steve pointed out, that’s exactly how he and my neighbor Scott play Wii (not sure if either of them removes their pants, or if they use British accents to pretend they’re at Wimbledon). Also it inspired one of my favorite lines of night: When pantsless Marshall tells Barney he thought they were staying in for the night, and Barney replies “That’s what I thought about your bangers and mash down there, but I guess we were both wrong.”

2. “If I don’t shave, I must behave." Again, SO TRUE. Robin’s policy for keeping herself from going home with her date is something that every girl I know has done at some point, right down to wearing boots to cover it up. What can only happen to Robin, though, is deciding you want to go home with the guy after all (“What happened to your convictions?” Lily asks over the phone; “They’ve been surgically removed by Dr. Awesome”) paying a waitress $50 to buy you a razor, getting stuck without shaving cream in the restaurant bathroom and using butter instead, then falling over and cracking your head open on the bathroom floor. Yeah, that one hasn’t happened to me, but if a hot surgeon with a British accent wanted to take me home and my legs weren’t shaved, it just might.

3. “That’s a metaphorical belt, right?” Ted opens the episode by calling Barney to proclaim “I’m about to go for the belt,” which Barney finally explains that, when either he or Ted successfully “rides the tricycle,” they will win the belt. And because he’s Barney, he doesn’t let the belt remain imaginary; in a flashback we see him bust out a belt worthy of a WWF championship-- “That’s right, it’s resplendent” he assures Ted. And, just because he must always top himself, he also has a crown for when he sleeps with the girl from Days of Our Lives. Naturally.

4. Kim Kelly and Winnie Cooper, together at last!: Remember Season One’s “Pineapple Incident,” when Ted woke up in bed next to a pineapple and had to piece together the previous night, and it turned out he slept with Danica McKeller, a.k.a. Winnie Cooper? She’s back! And as soon as Ted runs into her, she runs into her old sorority sister who is Busy Phillips, a.k.a. Kim Kelly from Freaks and Geeks. My TV heart is bursting right now! While I can’t quite believe that two girls this awesome and hot would settle to have a three-way with Ted (as much as I love Ted), I’m still happy to know that they’re the two with whom Ted gets to “ride the tricycle.” Or...

5. “You did it. You did it. You didn’t do it. Did you do it?” Did Ted ride the tricycle? No telling, but my money’s on yes. Did you see that look on his face when he walked into the bedroom, where the two girls were giggling and totally hooking up already? The answer isn’t quite killing me the way it was Barney, sometimes I hate being Ted’s kids!

And, because I can’t resist including this one, there’s a bonus #6 this week:

6. “If I died I would just come back and haunt your penis.” And this is how Lily lets Marshall know that, even in the unlikely event of her death, he will never ride the tricycle.

Super duper bonus! Some crazy genius at Wikipedia has bothered to do the math and figure out the exact time and date of the Slap Countdown website: Monday November 19th at around 8:23 pm ET. Mark your calendars precisely!

Katey Rich

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend