I love Dani and Charlie because just when you think they’re starting to turn on each other, they remember who they are and don’t. If only I could say I’m confident Charlie’s new partner, Seever, won’t turn eventually. I mean, she does have that 15 year plan and we all know that plans like those don’t happen by just sitting around. You know what can happen when you’re sitting around? You can become a grandfather and not even know it. Congrats, Ted. All this plus a murder victim with missing blood on this week’s Life.

The coroner has been killed in the morgue and everyone’s a suspect. There’s the angry co-worker who has filed complaints multiple times. There’s small time criminals doing community service work right outside. There’s a multitude of people who have access, especially since all the doors are open so where do Crews and Seever start? With all the cases the coroner was working on now in limbo, they decide to look at who would have wanted his investigations to cease. The only notable murder he has going is a celebrity chef who was found dead in his kitchen.

The chef was shot in the back of the head but the bullet was never found. It didn’t travel through his whole head so whoever shot him took the bullet. No one hated the chef but he did work with the county’s biggest bookie. Only this guy is so upset over the chef’s death that he’s literally crying in the kitchen all the time. Still, he does look the best for the murder. Crews and Seever dig a little deeper and when they see the picture in the front page of the chef, something’s off. In the crime scene photos, the chef is lying with only blood around him. In the picture in the paper, there’s a puddle under his hand.

They question the photographer, Kathy, who has an answer for everything. She doesn’t know what the liquid is but she can tell you she gets that close to the bodies by having a pretty smile. Sure, every cop will just let you into crime scenes if you have a pretty smile. Pushaw. She also hangs out by the morgue to try and get photos there. Still, she’s just a photographer and the chef’s murder is still unsolved. Then, when Crews and Seever revisit the kitchen, Charlie reenacts what would’ve happened in the freezer when the chef was killed. He bends over to pick something up and notices icicles hanging from the shelves.

Turns out the liquid under the chef’s hand was water. He bent down, stood up and an icicle slammed into the back of his head, thus no bullet. Then, he pulled out the icicle and fell to his death. Case solved but nothing about the coroner’s case is coming out. Crews and Seever don’t like the co-worker for it because they find the murder weapon, one of his tools, still bloody in his locker. If that doesn’t scream frame job, what does? They turn their suspicions to the photographer but she ends up confessing she paid the coroner for him to take the pictures so she doesn’t have anything to gain by his murder. Then, they visit the morgue at night and discover an after hours club for really creepy people who like to dance with the dead. I know, gross.

Why would morgue workers allow this, though? They need equipment and the county doesn’t give them any money for it so they take a percentage of the money. There’s only one rule, no smoking. They’re allowed to light candles, though. In fact, Crews and Seever found candle wax on one of the slabs along with vodka and condoms. Maybe it’s not just the creepy party-goers after all. There is another coroner who is constantly eating and she’s a small girl. No smoking, huh? Put it together and she and the dead coroner are four months pregnant. She says they were happy and really seems quite upset but if she had told about their affair, she would have been fired and she needs insurance now more than ever. She also confesses to knowing about the after hours parties. She doesn’t, however, know about any money from a photographer.

Looking at the financials for the coroner and the photographer, Crews and Seever find absolutely nothing. What does this mean? Only that somebody’s lying. Then they discover Kathy has two apartments, not just one. Visiting that one, which is eerily decorated in all death related stuff, they find 5 quarts of blood, which the exact amount missing from the dead coroner. After a little trickery on Kathy’s part, Seever takes her out, which is the first time she’s used her gun since becoming a cop. She’s a little shaken up but at least she and Crews are still alive.

Which is more than I can say for Dani. She finally told the FBI that she wouldn’t help them and they offered her a job in San Diego working on some border stuff. Of course she takes it but really, when she gets in the dark van with the other agents, they don’t talk to her and speed off. Say huh? Like I said, though, Charlie and her are back to trusting each other so hopefully Charlie will be looking for her soon. He did take her off of his wall.

Some one who’s not getting off so easy is the dad of Ted’s grandchild. His daughter, Ann, returns to ask him some questions but after some prodding on Ted’s part, she says she has a son and starts crying. Turns out the daddy ran off and doesn’t want anything to do with her. Ted’s holding it together for Ann until she tells him the kid’s name is Ted. Aw. I love when good things happen to Ted. It doesn’t look so good for the daddy when Ted pops up in his car. Guess who might be dropping back in from now on. Good job, Ted. You know, she and the baby could always move in with you and Charlie in that ginormous house. Yeah? No? I don’t know. I do know that all of you better get your butts in front of the TV for Life next week or we won’t get a next season. So, till then, enjoy and start hooking up your friends with some Charlie.

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