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Who Will Replace Bob Barker?

Bob Barker is a man stallion. He’s like a virile eighty three year old Energizer Bunny, doling out brand new cars faster than Lee Iacocca. Sadly, unlike the pink spokesman, his going and going is turning into slowing and slowing. The old codger announced a few months ago that his game show days were waning and eventually, climaxing in a finale extravaganza sendoff in May.

This creates an interesting dilemma for ‘CBS’ executives. How do you replace a legend like Bob Barker? Shortly after the neutering fiend’s announcement, the Tiffany Network embarked on a nationwide search to uncover the perfect candidate. Unfortunately, this dream host was never discovered. It simply produced mediocre sleepers.

Sources close to The Hollywood Reporter have uncovered the short list of replacement candidates. ‘Entertainment Tonight’ host Mark Steins appears to be emerging as the front runner. Other high level options include former ‘Saved By The Bell’ hunk Mario Lopez and actor George Hamilton(‘Dancing With The Stars’, Zorro The Gay Blade).

I think I speak for most people when I say, “George Hamilton?” Are you kidding me? That’s like Methuselah retiring and replacing him with Old Man River. I don’t even know what candidate to support here. I have as much Bayside school spirit as anyone else, but do I really want AC Slater taking over for the greatest game show host ever? Hell no. I guess I’ll root for Mark Steins by process of elimination, but that’s akin to asking me who my favorite ‘Smallville’ character is. They all suck, but I guess I have to pick one.

Here's to hoping Mark Summers isn't doing anything.

Mack Rawden
Mack Rawden

Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, the NBA and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.