Yesterday we ran a story about the Coen brother's True Grit and remarked that, despite being a remake, the players involved and the creative minds behind the project made the idea more that palatable. Unfortunately, a recently released casting sheet for Conan reminds us that not all remakes have as much thought going into them.
Helmed by Marcus Nispel, the genius behind both the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th reboots, the film is scheduled to start filming in Bulgaria early next year, but has not yet cast any actors, though Roland Kickinger's name has been tossed around since June. Looking to fill some slots, Moviehole has gotten their hands on a casting sheet that outlines 21 different roles they are searching for, including the three leads.
It's hard to believe that it's come to this, but I feel this film is going to remind us all how much we miss actors like Arnold. Back in the 80s, movies like Conan The Barbarian were able to exist because Arnold mixed the Mr. Universe body with passable acting skills. The best we are going to get today is a GNC junkie who was in that commercial that one time. I've outlined four of the more important roles below and you can check out the full list here.
Conan - Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the original, Conan is an intelligent, cunning, and strong warrior who has reformed from the life of a savage killer (something like this). After his entire tribe, including his father, is slaughtered, he vows revenge against those responsible, namely Khalar Singh (who seems to piss off everybody in the film one way or another).
Tamara -Bodyguard to the Queen and female lead. After the monarch she protects is kidnapped by Khalar Singh, she sets out on a mission to bring her back, joining Conan in his quest. Oh, and spoiler alert, they fall in love. Shock.
Khalar Singh - If it wasn't already clear, Singh is the film's main baddie. He wishes to become king which he can only do by using the Queen's blood to awaken his demonic minions (it's a bit confusing but just run with it). He was a former friend of Corin, Conan's father, but after Corin refuses to join him, Singh tortures him and has everyone slaughtered (which, in my opinion, is a slight overreaction).
Corin -Leader of the Cimmerians and Conan's father. He raises Conan as a single father and tries to control the little one's cruel nature (something about a hot blade needing to be cooled). Unless they do an extensive backstory (they won't), don't expect him to stick around that long.