This Rotten Week: Predicting Texas Chainsaw 3D Reviews And A Look Back At This Rotten Year
Well 2012 is winding down and I donít know about you but Iím sad to see it go. Itís been a good year. (So-so with the predictions, but me personally? Iím good.) We end the year with a buzz (of a chainsaw) as some kids head back down to Texas for a little reunion with Leatherface.
Just remember, I'm not reviewing these movies, but rather predicting where they'll end up on the Tomatometer. Let's take a look at what This Rotten Week has to offer.
Texas Chainsaw 3D
Weíve been through lazy horror movie writing with this recent fill in the blank strategy. Go back and check it out. It could have just been the first paragraph for Texas Chainsaw 3D. No one is reinventing the wheel with this new piece of garbage. No, instead Iíd like to focus on the crew assembled to dump out this movie.
I imagine director John Luessenhop saying to himself, ďLook, Iím an in demand guy. Iíve given the people classics like Takers (27%) and Lockdown (57%). For my next project I need to assemble a dream team.Ē So who does he go out and get? Writer Adam Marcus for starters. If youíre not a movie buff like me you may not have heard of the dude. His resume is nothing short of spectacular. For starters thereís 1993ís Jason Goes to Hell (27%). Then he takes an eight year ďbreakĒ penning and preparing to direct Let it Snow (53%). Then itís another sabbatical, this time for seven years, in order to prepare Conspiracy (only two reviews, one in which Richard Roeper claims ďItís beyond dreadful. Itís jaw-droppingly bad...Ē).
Of course Marcus comes with co-writer Debra Sullivan, and to pitch in on the story he picks up Stephen Suscoe--who knows his way around a horror with The Grudge one and two (40% and 10% respectively)-- and Kristen Elms (no real credits). Talk about Dream Team.
Theyíve all united to continue the story of Leatherface and his completely inefficient, though no less effective, style of hacking folks to pieces with an American made Poulan 306a. And maybe they make it look like the chainsawís coming through the screen and tearing apart your theater mate? Go for it. Obviously, this movie will be terrible. Itís released in a down week, with a bad crew, in an overdone franchise and with all the horror conventions youíve come to expect. The Rotten Watch for Texas Chainsaw 3D is
Which Rotten movie will have the highest final Tomatometer score?
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