Yeah, yeah yeah, "I told ya so" right? Ok
I get it I tried I failed I got back on the horse again. Who knows maybe this
should become a monthy feature, I might not screw up as much, anyway on with the
It used to be you just got a
teaser trailer and a final trailer and that made my life easy. 2005, however,
seems to be the year when studios compete to see how many different trailers
they can release for the one movie, without actually just showing you the damn
thing in thirty 3 minute segments. Worst offenders this year must go to our
big four - Star Wars, Batman, The Island and War of the Worlds. I
swear there are so many different trailers now it's hard to keep track. There's
the teaser trailer,
the second teaser trailer, the TV spot teaser, the international teaser, the
domestic trailers A, B and C, the international trailers A, B and C and then
the final trailer and final international trailer and maybe even the final Czechoslovakian trailer if you
look hard enough. Give us a break man, half of them are almost exactly the same trailer
with an extra split second shot of something "cool" anyhow. Stop giving editing interns pointless
jobs, pick a
good trailer and stick with it.
with your "home-made final trailers"
Coming soon to a theatre near you...
A History of Violence
David Cronenberg was one of the biggest horror directors of the late 70s
and 80s. While studios were pushing their latest entries in their showpiece franchises,
Cronenberg was churning out grisly but intelligently written horror tales that were largely shunned at
the time in favour of their cheap slasher cousins. These days, Cronenberg
is branchining out into more dramatic works, like the quietly creepy Spider and now
this, a story of the
of Aragorn when he found himself down
on his luck and making ends meet
in a small town coffee shop. Hi-jinks ensue.
to enrage the NRA...
War of the Worlds
Released: 29th June 2005
I suppose they
couldn't just keep showing pictures of the dirty muppet and the scientology wacko
cowering in fear as the overpass topples over, so inevitably we've now got trailers
which show hints of tripods and aliens. That said, they're upped the ante
now showing just
keep you interested while adding a bigger sense of the scale of
the movie. Between this and Batman, it's gonna be a great summer.
here to let Ron Hubbard in your life...
Released: 29th July 2005
I have to say
I've never seen more than about 25 minutes of Pearl Harbour, that was enough for
me. Then Bad Boys II came along which replaced most of what made the original
work with fancy editing and overblown set pieces. Needless to say,
I've lost a lot of respect for Mr Michael Bay over the last few years, though
I can't help but feel guiltily excited about The Island with it's slo-mo, smashes,
over stylised shots and sexay leads. Just hope it lives up to
the hype and isn't just another over-edited ego-trip.
here to see The Island UK style...
here to see how they do it Internationally
July 2005 (NY, LA)
Amazingly, most of the cast of Friends do actually still
have careers. David Schwimmer is doing theatre when not depressing everyone with his bleak
world views. Jennifer Aniston has started to prove she can act in between divorce hearings. Lisa
Kudrow is toeing the self-referential line by producing a sitcom about
an ex-sitcom star trying to revive her career. Matt LeBlanc is
still Joey. Matthew Perry would probably have a career if he could stay out of rehab.
And Courteney Cox
is taking the same
route as Jennifer. After starring in some truly awful movies, she's looking to the indie world
to prove her acting chops. Psychological thrills on DV
here to watch The One Where Monica Sees Jacobs Ladder...
Guy Ritchie returns.
After the disaster that was Swept Away, Mr Madonna made the only move
possible to salavage his career - moving back to doing another gangster movie. Nothing
says one trick pony like 3 movies out of 4 about
UK gangsters, no matter which Hollywood stars you might get
to make an appearance. I'm starting to think Ritchie
is the UK's less incisive, less intelligent answer
to Kevin Smith - a man who knows how to do one thing and
one thing only and the idea of trying something new or interesting terrifies him out of
actually doing it.
Click here to
watch stylized British violence (again)...
Released: 5th August 2005 (NY,
If you can work out what this
futuristic Hong Kong noodler is all about, you're doing better than me.
Apparently it's a sequel to director Kar Wai Wong's "In The Mood For Love" which
I'm sure nobody outside of NY or LA saw. However "critics raved" about this
follow up, so it must be good. I'd be more interested if the trailer made
sense, but for now I'll just enjoy it's
here to save be confused by futuristic prohibition Japan...
Released: 10th June 2005
Ronald isn't getting an easy time of it these days, what with Super Size Me
winning awards and now this - a documentary following two Brits' 10 year battle
with McDonalds who sued them for libel, leaving them penniless and destitute as
fought to defend their right to free speech in the face of
the might of a multinational's legal stranglehold. Interesting stuff, or just more proof
that anyone with a camcorder can make a documentary - you
here to munch some burger...
That's you're lot for now. I wish I could guarantee you'll see me this time
next week, but we'll just have to wait and see.