We’re one day away from the Golden Globes, and while there is some curiosity as to which television shows, movies and contributors might win top honors, most of the buzz among casual fans is related to hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. The former co-anchors of Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update” have wonderful chemistry together and could well be the most beloved female comedians working today. On paper, they should absolutely crush the ceremony out of the park, but unfortunately, history tells me that’s probably not going to happen.
The dirty little secret about hosting an awards telecast is that it’s one of the most thankless jobs in show business. An overwhelming majority of those chosen fail to live up to the audience’s expectations and get roundly criticized for not being funny enough, trying to be too funny, making the show about them, being too apathetic or to put it bluntly, not being Bob Hope or Billy Crystal. From David Letterman to Chevy Chase, many of the greatest comedic minds of the past half century have taken a swing and whiffed. Even Ricky Gervais, who generated plenty of positive headlines for his no holds barred approach, was beset by just as many negative headlines, which is why the Golden Globes should fundamentally alter what it looks for in a host and hire Ryan Seacrest.
The longtime American Idol host is not a comedian, but he is slyly funny and more importantly, ruthlessly efficient. He’s one of the hardest working, most professional men in Hollywood, and if given the Globes assignment, he would put in the time, energy and thought needed to keep the show running on time, reduce awkwardness and put out the most professional product possible. If you think about it, those are the issues people complain about anyway.
Have you ever heard someone complain about the Golden Globes or Oscars jokes that weren’t made? No. What they complain about are the forced uncomfortable jokes, the idiotic length and the stupid amount of time in between segments. Seacrest would solve all of those problems. He’s comfortable enough on camera to be witty and make a few observations, but he wouldn’t try to push it and do a late night host-like monologue. He’s simply brilliant at filling the exact number of seconds needed, and he would have no problem utilizing prerecorded comedic videos, which the organizers have far more time to make funny anyway.
When people think of awards ceremony candidates, they usually think of comedians. Once in a blue moon, these selections wind up being hysterical and brilliant, but the rest of the time, they fail to live up to our expectations. So, why not hire someone who has proven over and over again that he’s capable of doing the job? Why not choose polish and organization, even if it’s at the expense of a few laughs?
I truly hope Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are wonderful tomorrow night, but if I were in charge, I would strongly look at Seacrest next year. It’s time to try something new.