WRITTEN BY Rich Knight

When I heard that a God of War movie is actually in the works, I got super excited. Not only because I’ve been thoroughly invested in the game’s story since the very beginning, but because I also knew that if it’s good, it could possibly put an end to these damn Clash/Wrath of the Titans movies. Hopefully, this one will be the last.

Many of the film's detractors thought the movie itself didn’t match all the trailers that made it look like it would be an hour-and-a-half version of the Liam Neeson punching wolves to their death. Those people have a point, as it’s not that kind of movie and the trailers were misleading. But now that that knowledge is out there, I think it can fully be appreciated as the meditative film that it is. I absolutely adore this film.

Chronicle has one of the best trailers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Unfortunately, the movie itself isn’t even a fraction as good as the trailer. I wanted this movie to be so much better.

Even though it came out early in the year, The Devil Inside is still the worst movie of 2012. It pretty much already holds the title as the worst exorcism movie of all time.

I really wanted to love Shame. Like, Midnight Cowboy love it (I only make that reference because it's the only other “X” rated film I’ve ever seen). But something just seems to fall short with Shame. Sure, the sex is there, and the "I’m-dead-inside" look in the protagonist’s eyes is there. But it’s still missing something that I can’t quite put my finger on, and whatever it is, it could have put this movie over the top.

If you aren’t as huge a fan of Tim and Eric as I am, then you might actually like this film. But who besides a hardcore T&E lover would even want to watch this film anyway? Does anybody else even know who Tim and Eric are? I feel like I’m the only one.

When Oscar season rolled around last year, a lot of people rolled their eyes at War Horse's nomination for Best Picture. Nobody thought it would win. Many even found it to be one of Spielberg’s lesser films, but I beg to differ. Sure, it’s not Schindler’s List, but really, what is? What this film has going for it is sheer beauty.

This review isn’t really for fans of the Muppets. Those people have already seen this movie in theatres and know just how great it is. This review is for people, like myself, who know of the Muppets, but never really got into them. And for those people, all I have to say is that this movie will make you a believer.

I may be one of the only movie critics to openly say this, but I actually like Brett Ratner’s films, and Tower Heist is a pretty good one. It’s no Rush Hour 1-3, but really, what is?

I have a long list of movies I’ve never seen before but want to and only know one thing about them (in this case, Robin Williams screaming, “Gooooood morning, Vietnaaaaam!”). Sometimes, when I actually do see them, I’m pissed off at what I got. And other times, such as with Good Morning Vietnam, I’m pleasantly surprised. That’s rare for a movie. Especially one starring Robin Williams.

The Hangover Part II infuriates me. Not because it’s lazy and pretty much the exact same movie as the first one. But because it somehow tricked me to see it even though I knew it was going to be lazy and pretty much the exact same movie as the first one. And you saw it, too!

Kung Fu Panda 2 is not better than the original. It’s also not worse. So I guess that means we win!

Cowboys…and Aliens. What a weird combination of foes. How could you possibly mess up something that sounds that awesome? I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to ask Jon Favreau.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 is the best Harry Potter movie ever. Yes, even better than The Prisoner of Azkaban.

David Lynch is one of my favorite directors of all time. He’s weird and pretty much all of his best films need an “Interpretations” category on Wikipedia. With the release of Blue Velvet on Blu-Ray, we get to see Lynch at his very best. Too bad Wild at Heart followed this masterpiece. But I’m not going to get into that.

Horrible Bosses is like Borat: one of the funniest movies you’ve ever seen the first time around, but virtually laughless the second time you watch it. That’s not to say that it’s not a good film. It is. In fact, just watching it again is still very enjoyable, if not completely funny. I think a huge part of that is the cast. It’s impossible not to love them. But it’s just not all that funny watching it again at home.

Pulp Fiction is the best movie Quentin Tarantino has ever or will ever make. Some may say Inglourious Basterds was the work of a more professional director, or that Jackie Brown was a more focused and enlightened Tarantino picture. But if you think about it (and I think about it often), what both of those wildly different, aforementioned films have in common is that they both have the spirit of Pulp Fiction in them.

The adaptation of Green Lantern pisses me the hell off. Not because it was terrible, or lame, or complete garbage, but because it was just so damn average. It should be called Vanilla Lantern. Actually, no, that would be stupid…

Well done, Michael Bay, well done. You’ve really outdone yourself this time. You’ve actually managed to make a movie that’s even worse than Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. And it’s the sequel, Transformers: Insert Dumb Subtitle Here. You must be proud, Mr. Bay, you must be proud.

You know what I hate? Movies that could have been great but aren’t. Hesher is one of those films. Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a head-banging squatter who ditches his digs and moves in with a family that doesn’t want him? Hey, that sounds pretty good, man. I could dig that. Or so I thought. The problem is that the family he decides to shack up with has a doped-up patriarch (Rainn Wilson) and a son who can’t stop screaming and crying. If this sounds more like a drama than a comedy, then you’re right, it is. In fact, I think the key to enjoying Hesher is to not think of it as a comedy (not even a black comedy). Because it’s not. Not in the slightest.