Looking for a walkthrough of Call of Duty: Ghosts? Well, you've come to the right place because despite the game being easier than an aging hooker in the seedy parts of Reno, Las Vegas, some of you still might need hints and tips in how to blast through the game faster than Fox giving the axe to pilot shows hitting 6.0s on the Nelson scale.

The game starts off with players donning the role of a mute little man in the forest having a manly man trip with his dad and brother. Players are told an equally manly story about how some soldiers manned up and became even manlier men by turning into “ghosts”. The player is then thrust back into the shoes of a weak, little man known as Logan, where the world begins to undergo apocalyptic destruction of Roland Emmerich proportions and the player has to be told how to do simple things, like climbing up a curb not to get crushed or blown to bits.

The story then shifts to Sandra Bullock and a mute George Clooney on HGH, where they have to fend off a space station from space pirates. The player starts as an unarmed astronaut but after witnessing the death of your comrades at the hands of evil looking astronauts, the manliness of Baker kicks into play and he turns into a merciless, mute killing machine.

Baker's tragic tale doesn't end well but it's laced with enough explosions and destruction that anyone with a hard-on for the very mere mention of Michael Bay might get pregnant watching the sequence.

Take note that all of the above happens within 13 minutes... yep, 13 minutes. It almost contained more blockbuster madness than the movie Feast, which managed to defeat every trope known to horror movies in under five minutes.

By the time the opening credits roll most people will probably be too exhausted to continue. I guess it's a good thing the game takes less time to beat than it takes the average American to complete a workday.

Still, if you run into trouble completing the game you can always buy hacks for it. For everyone else, the guide will get you through just about every segment in a breeze. Or, it's useful for those of you who just want to watch a movie where a bunch of silent dumb people get told what to do and who to shoot while everything blows up around them... oh wait, isn't that every major AAA game out there trying to be Hollywood fluff?

Anyway Call of Duty: Ghosts is available this week for major gaming platforms and is only 720p for Xbox One and native 1080p for the PS4, just in case you were wondering. For more info, feel free to visit the official website.

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