Peter Molyneux Trashes Xbox One's Kinect, Calls It A Joke

So you remember the guy who brought us that undeniably creepy and yet equally cool “Milo and Kate”? Yeah, that pedophile dream game that went missing shortly after debuting at E3. Well, the guy who made that possible is known as Peter Molyneux – a little melodramatic, a little talky, and all about “changing the world”. Molyneux, the former golden boy of the Xbox brand, has traded in his expository serenades and alluring laudation of Kinect (formerly known as Natal) for biting tones and jagged verbal jabs aimed at Microsoft's proprietary NSA spybox known as Kinect 2.0.

Rich from ReviewTech USA picked up a short-form story on Gamespot from an interview on Edge. After following a railroad of links, you'll find quotes from 22Cans' Peter Molyneux, the former head of Lionhead Studios, the same studio responsible for the Fable games, where Molyneux stated that...

"I actually wish Kinect wasn't a requirement," ... "It feels like an unnecessary add-on to me. Maybe it's because we're in England, and it doesn't really use the TV stuff, but it feels more and more like a joke."

Bwahaha.... oh, sorry, I suppose I should respond with a more “professional” statement. In that case: You got burned, Microsoft! Burned like the American people during the collapse of the economy at the hands of the greediest mofos on Wall Street who don't sit at a burning table and wear hooves for shoes.

Molyneux isn't entirely wrong, though, because it wasn't until the recent March update for the Xbox One did Microsoft even consider a frequency for the Xbox to output media for gamers residing in PAL territories. Even beyond adopting the 50hz output, there's nothing really there if you're not American. The TV on your TV cable functions are all mostly restricted to those living Stateside.

Molyneux doesn't end his tirade there, the Godus creator goes on to say...

"My son and I sit there saying random things at it, and it doesn't work," he said. "[Microsoft] could cost-reduce it [by removing Kinect]. I'm sure they're going to release an Xbox One without Kinect. It would be unthinkable that they wouldn't."

Okay, now I'm going to write something a lot of people will disagree with, and it may seem contrary to what's usually said about the Xbox One and Kinect, but here goes...

Microsoft should never unbundle the Kinect from the Xbox One.

What they should do instead is get their fingers out of their dong-holes and get the NSA to stop spying on people having amateur sex and instead focus on getting out some good games for the Xbox One that fully utilizes the Kinect in ways not-possible on the Wii U or PS4.

I mean, seriously, Microsoft should send a memo to the NSA and GCHQ, and let them know that there are free, high-quality porn sites out there where they can see everything they need to see, without glaring at obese Bob spend ten minutes trying to find his hot dog while attempting to put it into buns Jim offered up to him.

However, Gamespot points out a very relevant comment from Phil Spencer, the new head of the Xbox division, where he states that the removal of Kinect isn't even the number one requested thing from Microsoft... it's great games!

I agree. I think Microsoft can justify the Xbox One and Kinect if they can at least get "great" games on the darn thing that are specifically tuned to the hardware, and make full use of the system's capabilities that can't be experienced elsewhere.

Removing Kinect effectively turns the Xbox One into the PS3.5 or the Xbox 720p... well, technically it's already the Xbox 720p. But it'll be the Xbox 720p without any balls. Well, technically, it would be the Xbox 720p without balls if they decided to remove the disc drive. So, technically, it would be more like the Xbox 720p without balls that turned vegan. Ugh... a hippy, ball-less, barely-HD game console. Microsoft should be ashamed to even consider turning the Xbox into what would be the first commie-eunuch of video game systems. They might even have to change the name to the ZTS One: The Zhongxian Toss Salad One.

Hopefully, Microsoft wises up, pumps out some games that actually work with Kinect instead of broken games like Kinect Sports Rivals or Fighter Within. They need better core-game integration and, of course, lose all that NSA sexy-time spy stuff.

I think they can make it work if they put the effort in to make the kind of games that gamers would be willing to play in correlation with the Kinect, instead of ostracizing gamers with petty casual titles like Zumba Fitness or shovelware like Kinect Star Wars.

Will Usher

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.