One of the greatest Saturday Night Live stars, an undeniably iconic comic actor, and one of Wes Anderson’s most prolific collaborators, Bill Murray is in a league of his own in pretty much every category. With those signature expressions, the wise-cracking sarcasm, and a certain way with words, Murray has long provided audiences with one hilarious line after another.
Murray’s various characters from over the years have also hit people with vicious comebacks so harsh, so biting, so hot, you better call the fire department to put out the flames. Here are 32 times one of his characters came at someone with a vicious comeback.
“This Is One Time Where Television Really Fails To Capture The True Excitement Of A Large Squirrel Predicting The Weather. I, For One, Am Very Grateful To Have Been Here.” (Groundhog Day)
There’s a case to be made for Phil Connors being Bill Murray’s grouchiest, most nihilistic, and most sarcastic character to date, and it gets even easier when you examine his breakdown of the titular holiday in Groundhog Day. The sass, the disdain, the subtle viciousness of his words could cut through bone.
"Weird Name, Good Luck With That" (Ghostbusters: Afterlife)
Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) and other O.G. Ghostbusters returning in Ghostbusters: Afterlife made for one of the most nostalgic moments of 2020s cinema, but it wasn’t all sweetness coming from the wisecracking character. Upon meeting the family of the fallen Egon Spengler, Peter hits them with a hilarious “Weird name” moment that’s just so good.
"Honey, How Many Fingers Does Mrs. Santa Claus Have Here?" (Scrooged)
Scrooged, a movie about the good, the bad, and the ugly of ‘80s yuppie culture (as well as a great spin on A Christmas Carol), sees Bill Murray play Frank Cross, a downright terrible TV executive, brother, boyfriend, boss, and human being. Though he’s undeniably a bad person, Frank does hand out some incredible putdowns, like this one when he’s given a drawing of Santa by a young kid. Brutal!
"Janine, Someone With Your Qualifications Would Have No Trouble Finding A Top-Flight Job In Either The Food Service Or Housekeeping Industries." (Ghostbusters)
The dynamic shared by Janine (Annie Potts) and Peter Venkman in Ghostbusters is one of the movie’s low-key best parts. The verbal sparring between these two is incredible, as is this line the Ghostbuster throws at his secretary (and unsung hero of the movie) when business starts picking up.
"Was I Talking Out Loud? Was I? Sorry. Good Luck." (Kingpin)
Kingpin is one of the best sports movies where the main character actually loses as well as one that features one of Bill Murray’s most unhinged characters in Ernie McCracken. The two-timing, lying, scheming, and opportunistic villain of this great ‘90s sports comedy has no shortage of clever lines, like this one early in the film before turning on Woody Harrelson’s Roy Munson.
"Have You Tried Staples?" (Scrooged)
The scene in Scrooged where Bill Murray’s Frank Cross asks a member of the production crew if he tried using staples to keep a pair of antlers to stay on a mouse’s head is straight-up insane. However, let’s not forget the fact that the guy was trying to glue the props to the rodent’s head before Frank came into the scene.
"Back Off, Man. I'm A Scientist" (Ghostbusters)
Peter Venkman has one outrageous line after another in Ghostbusters, and one of the best can be heard in the early goings of the 1984 comedy. After asking a series of highly inappropriate questions, Venkman tells a librarian to back off in the best possible way. Or is it the worst possible way? You decide.
"You're Not Gonna Get A Green Card With That Attitude, Pal" (Ghostbusters II)
Peter Venkman going back and forth with Peter MacNicol’s Dr. Janosz Poha in Ghostbusters II never gets old. This is especially true when the two are going at it in front of the haunted portrait of Vigo the Carpathian, and Venkman utters the “green card” line. Vicious.
"Never In My Wildest Imagination Did I Ever Dream I'd Have Sons Like These" (Rushmore)
When it comes to despicable characters in Wes Anderson movies, none come close to the vindictive and repulsive Herman Blume. Bill Murray’s industrialist and reluctant father character has so many classic moments in the movie, and more times than not, they involve Blume’s sons.
"People Like Blood Sausage, Too. People Are Morons" (Groundhog Day)
Phil Connors calling people “morons” in the best possible way in Groundhog Day takes an already great movie and turns it into the stuff legends are made of. It’s biting comments like this that make Bill Murray’s weatherman such an unforgettable character.
"It's Gonna Be Cold, It's Gonna Be Gray, And It's Gonna Last The Rest Of Your Life" (Groundhog Day)
Phil Connors isn’t one to mince words, and that honestly makes him a decent guy (if you overlook the grouchiness and disdain for most things in life). When giving an outlook on life, er the forecast, he lets out this iconic line in Groundhog Day.
"Do Me A Favor, Will You? Would You Mind Washing Off That Perfume Before You Come Back To Our Table?" (Kingpin)
Ernie McCracken is one of the biggest jerks the sports comedy genre has ever seen (he makes Shooter McGavin look nice by comparison), and that's best seen in Kingpin's diner scene where he absolutely tears into a waitress. Was he wrong? But did he go about the wrong way of calling out the woman's perfume choice? You bet!
"Because I Hate Fathers, And I Never Wanted To Be One" (Life Aquatic)
Steve Zissou pretty much saying that having kids was a mistake in The Life Aquatic is one of those examples of "When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong." It's okay to feel that way, but to tell someone that having them was a mistake was quite a choice.
"Mike, I Really Appreciate You're Doing This, But It Is Just For The Money, Isn't It? It's Not Just So You Can Wear These Little Outfits?" (Tootsie)
Bill Murray’s Jeff Slater, the playwright roommate of Dustin Hoffman’s Michael Dorsey in Tootsie, is one of the most grounded characters in this 1982 classic, but even he says it like it is. The scene where he questions Michael’s obsession with becoming Dorothy Michaels is one of the best examples of that.
"Why Haven't You Learned How To Button A Coat?" (Scrooged)
Claire Phillips (Karen Allen) is on the receiving end of a lot of verbal abuse from Frank Cross in Scrooged. One of the most ridiculous and hilarious, examples of this comes when Bill Murray’s main character gets sarcastic about outerwear.
"Ned [Punches Ned In The Face]?" (Groundhog Day)
The recurring “Phil, Phil. Connors” run-ins with Ned Ryerson (Stephen Tobolowsky) are some of the best scenes in Groundhog Day, but there’s one that stands out above the rest. In the midst of his downward spiral, Phil lashes out and punches the obnoxious character right in the face.
"’It Is What It Is'? Everyone's Saying That Now. You Know What It Means? You're Screwed, And You Shall Remain Screwed.” (St. Vincent)
When it comes to old curmudgeons, few of Bill Murray’s characters come close to the titular grump in St. Vincent. His response to hearing the common phrase “It is what it is” is admittedly on point, but I’m not the one on the receiving end.
"Try To Make It Sound Like You Wrote It That Way On Purpose." (The French Dispatch)
One of Wes Anderson’s best movies, The French Dispatch, is a series of short films filling out what is to be the final edition of the titular news magazine. In between those longer segments are various scenes with editor Arthur Howitzer Jr. (Bill Murray). One of the funniest moments comes when Howitzer gives one of his writers a harsh yet honest critique, telling them to make their mistakes seem like they were meant to be there.
"Would You Please... For The Love Of God And Your Own Body... Stop The Hammering?" (Scrooged)
Frank Cross yelling at people in Scrooged isn’t rare, but the time he yelled about hammering on set is something wild. It’s the subtle pauses, the facial expressions, and that exaggerated tone in his voice. It’s perfect.
"There Are Two Types Of People In This World: Those Who Like Neil Diamond, And Those Who Don't." (What About Bob?)
What About Bob? is one of those movies that’s impossible to watch without being on edge, and that’s part of its charm. The other part? Well, Bill Murray’s portrayal of the neurotic, obsessive, and unhinged Bob Wiley. The scene where he shares his classic “Neil Diamond” line is one of those. Talk about a way to put down an ex and the “Sweet Caroline” singer.
"Oh, Creepy! I'm Sorry. You Know, For The First Couple Years, I Felt Responsible. How You Been Otherwise?" (Kingpin)
Ernie McCracken reacting to Roy Munson’s fake hand (he pretty much led to the mangling of his bowling hand) in Kingpin is so hilarious, so genuine, and so over-the-top. While he does admit to his role in the matter, Ernie stops himself short of taking full responsibility.
"She Doesn't Have Any Friends." (Moonrise Kingdom)
Walt Bishop (Bill Murray) putting down his missing daughter (played by Kara Hayward) when the 12-year-old runs away in Moonrise Kingdom is so unnecessary, but we’ll allow it. He’s not wrong in his description of his daughter’s social life, but wow!
"Just Remember, They Can Buy Anything But They Can't Buy Backbone. Don't Let Them Forget It." (Rushmore)
Frank Cross doesn’t miss an opportunity to attack rich kids in Rushmore, including an intense speech where the self-made man says that the wealthy elite can buy anything they want, save for a backbone. Though he is filthy rich in the movie, Frank has a point.
"Don't Cry In My Office." (The French Dispatch)
Arthur Howitzer telling his staff not to cry in his office after it’s learned he’s dying of cancer is honestly one of the most genuine parts of this 2021 Wes Anderson film. Again, the character is being somewhat mean about it all, but he’s not wrong.
"You're Short, Your Bellybutton Sticks Out Too Far, And You're A Terrible Burden On Your Poor Mother." (Ghostbusters II)
Baby Oscar in Ghostbusters II goes through a lot by the time the credits roll. However, being abducted by a ghost so that Vigo the Carpathian can use his body to carry out his evil plans doesn’t compare to being shamed by Peter Venkman. Like, how do you come back from that?
"Yeah, You Get To Treat 'Em Bad On The Way Back Down Too. It's Great, You Get Two Chances To Rough 'Em Up." (Scrooged)
Frank Cross has no time for his family’s critiques of the way he lives in Scrooged. The scene where Frank responds to his brother, basically telling him not to be mean to people, is just so perfect. It’s undeniably mean, but so much fun to watch.
"You Went In There To Get A Date And Came Out With A Dog. That's Bad Even For You." (Garfield: The Movie)
Jon Arbuckle (Breckin Meyer) is on the receiving end of some outrageous put-downs by Bill Murray’s titular cat in Garfield: The Movie, but does anything compare to the time the lasagna-loving feline makes fun of his owner for bringing home a dog? Woof!
"I'm Sorry. You Know I Thought You Were Richard Pryor!" (Scrooged)
This Frank Cross line isn’t the meanest thing the character says in Scrooged, but it was just too good to pass up. When Bill Murray’s character thinks the waiter is on fire, he pours a bucket of water on the man before referencing an incident where Richard Pryor caught himself on fire while taking part in an extracurricular activity.
"But I Don't See Any Reason Why I Should Just Sit Here Pretending I'm Not Home, Just Because You're Not That Kind Of Girl. Now, That's Weird." (Tootsie)
Michael Dorsey wears many hats in Tootsie, so many that it starts to make life difficult for his roommate, Jeff. At one point, Jeff comments on all the times he didn’t comment on his best friend’s method acting, eventually saying enough is enough now that he can’t answer a phone because “Dorothy Michaels” shouldn’t have a male roommate.
"What A Lovely Singing Voice You Must Have." (Ghostbusters)
When confronting a possessed Dana (Sigourney Weaver) in Ghostbusters, Peter Venkman attempts to make light of the situation by commenting on Zuul’s demonic voice. It’s not the meanest thing he says in the movie, but it’s so on-brand.
"You Know I'm Not Big On Apologizing. So I'll Just Skip It If It's All The Same To You." (Life Aquatic)
The Life Aquatic has some great characters, and each has some wonderful moments. But let’s be real… Steve Zissou is at the top of that list, especially when he tells Eleanor (Anjelica Huston) that he’s not big on apologies. Sure, he comes around, but this line (and live delivery) is perfect.
"Do You Have Any Regrets?" -"Garfield, Maybe." (Zombieland)
One of the best zombie apocalypse movies (and certainly one of the funniest), Zombieland has one of the best cameos of all time when Bill Murray briefly shows up as himself. There’s one key moment when he’s asked if he has any regrets on his deathbed, and he honestly comes up with the best answer…
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