Good day, haberdashers of all things torso-less. Are you guys staying indoors this weekend, or are you daring to face the streets, where Frank Grillo and the paint-faced asshats from The Purge: Anarchy are on patrol? Of course, there’s always Planes: Fire and Rescue, which presumably has completely horrific scenes of talking cars on fire. That is, if they used my screenplay without telling me anything.
In smaller headline news, eOne has acquired the rights toCatch Fire (formerly Shreveport), a violent revenge thriller that will serve as lead actor Ryan Philippe’s directorial debut. Lionsgate’s paranormal thriller Jessabelle has a new pushed-back theatrical and VOD release date of November 7, just in time for Halloween candy sales. Platinum Dunes producer Brad Fuller told Bloody Disgusting that the next Friday the 13th isn’t necessarily going to be found footage or 3D, but it might be if they ever find a script that works. Finally, the geniuses at DocTerror.com and Hacktivision came up with this faux NES trailer for video games based on the works of Italian horror master Lucio Fulci. Enjoy.
And now, a story that I never, ever, ever thought I’d be writing.
The Poughkeepsie Tapes is Finally Out!
Are you kidding me? The horror genre is full of quasi-urban legends and "what-if" projects, and those concepts both come together in John Erick Dowdle’s 2007 thriller The Poughkeepsie Tapes: a found footage-ish film that started life with an acclaimed Tribeca Film Festival debut and then quietly went nowhere. MGM acquired it, but never put it out in theaters, and no one ever stepped in to give it the inevitable halfass DVD or VOD release treatment. In the past seven years, The Poughkeepsie Tapes has amassed a large cult following, thanks to rampant downloading of the film on torrent sites, but at long grainy-video last, it has finally been officially released!
Oddly enough, it isn’t quite clear WHO released it, as it’s currently available on DirecTV’s VOD service; and an admittedly quick Google search didn’t lead me to any other sites hosting the film. (As a DirecTV subscriber, I’m pretty jazzed.) The film centers on a massive collection of videotapes found by NYPD detectives, detailing a serial killer’s decade-long murder spree. For my money, it’s better than both of the John and Drew Dowdle’s Quarantine and Devil, though their upcoming As Above, So Below looks extremely interesting. The Poughkeepsie Tapes may not live up to 7-year-long expectations, but it’s still an enjoyably creepy ride into the life of a maniac, and it’s actually out!
Tusk Debuts New Still and Release Date
If you weren’t paying much attention, you might think Kevin Smith’s life and career revolve solely around Star Wars set visits and rumors about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. But no, he actually has a movie to promote, people! Thus, A24 Films has released the first official still for the surreal horror Tusk, along with a release date of September 19. We only have to wait two more months to see Justin Long in what will presumably be the most uncomfortable and whisker-filled experience of his career!
The image shows Long sitting and talking to Michael Parks (Red State), which makes sense, as Tusk centers on Long’s podcaster character heading out to visit Park’s Howard Howe, who has a particular fondness for walruses. When Long doesn’t return, his best friend Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) and girlfriend Allison (Genesis Rodriguez) team up to go looking for him. Considering it’s the first of several horror projects Smith has lined up, Tusk will hopefully prove that this comedic powerhouse has what it takes to instill a mammalistic fear within us.
Among the Living Stills and Poster Show Off ‘Inside’ Directors' Latest
Horror directors are generally a hit-or-miss bunch, but they don't come much more polished than French filmmakers Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury. With both 2007’s Inside and 2011’s Livid, the pair delivered disturbing stories to go with the disturbing visuals. So it’s with a curious verve that I approach their latest film, Among the Living (Aux yeux des vivants), which recently unveiled a dramatic poster and pair of stills. This storyline is pretty much everything I ever wanted out of a horror when I was a kid.
A hit at this year’s SXSW, Among the Living follows a trio of teenage boys who skip school in order to spend a day at an abandoned movie set, where they experience a horrifying vision that shows them something terrible involving a past event and a guy in a clown mask. (Okay, so maybe it wasn’t everything I wanted out of a horror.) In any case, the man from their vision returns to visit them that night, and…some terrible shit probably happens.
Starring Zacharie Chasseriaud, Damien Ferdel, Théo Fernandez and Beatrice Dalle, Among the Living sadly doesn’t have a release date set for the U.S. just yet. Make it happen, 'Murica!
Life After Beth Clip Marks the Film’s VOD Release
One might think a movie starring Aubrey Plaza, Dane DeHaan, John C. Reilly and Anna Kendrick would make bigger waves than what we've seen from the shallow marketing campaign for I Heart Huckabees co-writer Jeff Baena’s zombie comedy Life After Beth. Yet this movie has quietly creeped onto DirecTV’s On Demand service, almost a month ahead of its August 15th limited theatrical run. As you can see from the angst-ridden clip above, Life After Beth is a loud enough movie that everyone should have heard about it by now. I mean, we know about it, but it's not exactly in the zeitgeist.
Plaza is the titular Beth, whose boyfriend Zach (DeHaan) is devastated after she suffers an untimely death…at least until she comes back. Her parents Geenie (Shannon) and Maury (Reilly) aren’t quick to admit this fact, and things take an even stranger turn once Beth starts exhibiting extremely zombie-like behavior and yearnings. The brains of Paul Reiser, Cheryl Hines, Alia Shawkat and Molly Shannon also appear in Life After Beth, which earned fairly solid reviews during its festival run.
Jersey Shore Massacre Exists, Has Pictures, Features Ron Jeremy
Movies that get limited theatrical runs, for the most part, are acclaimed movies that should have bigger releases, but studios don’t believe in their box office chances for some reason. And then there are movies like Jersey Shore Massacre, a goofy slasher that doesn’t mind butting its big dumb face into the party, as this flick is actually hitting a couple of theaters late next month before beating that bloody beat up on VOD few days later. It’s executive produced by Jenni "JWOWW" Farley, it features Ron Jeremy and someone named "Bigfoot" as co-stars, and this four-year-too-late pic just released a poster and stills to go with its previously-released teaser.
At the New Jersey Pine Barrens, a bunch of dummies get together to party, but soon become targeted by a killer maniac. The official synopsis says the group is made up of "six girls and five obnoxious fist-pumpers," which may lead you to believe that the girls aren’t obnoxious. The ball is in Jersey Shore Massacre’s court; it’s a beach volleyball court, no doubt. Here’s Ron Jeremy. Head on over to the film’s Facebook page for more info.
And here’s that bass-bumping trailer.
Jersey Shore Massacre will make a limited theatrical run starting August 22nd and hit VOD on August 26th . That’s real.
Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.
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