Good day, beheaders of all things obnoxiously pithy. It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, and just like Mr. Rogers, I’m changing my sweater. Only mind is red and green and smells like children dying in dreams. Plus, sweat. Not much make us sweat horror-wise in theaters right now, other than a smallish release for Brian Netto’s found-footage pregnancy thriller Delivery: The Beast Within. Real pregnancy is horrific enough, am I right, ladies?

In mini-news, Scream Factory is continuing on their endless line of amazing Blu-ray releases with The Legend of Hell House, which comes out on August 26th and features a new commentary with Pamela Franklin and a new interview with director John Hough. The Orchard and Shock Til You Drop’s self-explanatory documentary The 50 Best Horror Movies You’ve Never Seen hit VOD this past week. Finally, the hounds at Dread Central clued us into Aaron B. Koontz's fun short horror-comedy The El Chupugcabra, in which a family adopts a pug and gets way more than they expected. Take 20 minutes out of your life and give it a watch below.

And now for something completely different disgusting.

Wrap Your Tentacles Around The Call Girl Of Cthulhu's NSFAnywhere Trailer
I think we can all agree that H.P. Lovecraft had a pretty active imagination. But even his great mind probably never considered his greatest creation, Cthulhu, would ever exist within the lady parts of a hooker. (Or maybe he did. Nudge, nudge.) Director Chris LaMartina and Midnight Crew Studios are unleashing the horror comedy Call Girl of Cthulhu on audiences later this year, and they’ve dropped a truly ridiculous trailer for it, which takes prosthetic gore into the next dimension.

In the Kickstarter-funded Call Girl of Cthulhu, an artist falls in love with a hooker who is the chosen bride of Lovecraft’s mythical god. An evil cult has come together to summon Cthulhu and ultimate destroy all mankind, so it’s up to the artist to stop them and save his woman. Expect a lot of tentacle-in-cheek humor for this one, and lots of squishy scenes that aren’t suitable for preschool graduations. Maybe the moral is never to fall in love with women of the night, or maybe it’s something else. We’ll see.

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