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How Many Air Humps You're Going To See in Magic Mike XXL

Entertainment news is a tough business. The things some reporters have to do to provide the important information that people want can be absolutely harrowing. It’s about asking the tough questions, and then having the follow through to get the necessary answers. In this case, the tough questions include, how many air humps you can expect to witness in Magic Mike XXL?

We here at CinemaBlend would like to thank the intrepid soldiers over at MTV who have put together all the numbers for the Channing Tatum male stripper sequel because we really didn’t want to have to do it ourselves. Their infographic compiles all the information you could possibly want to know about what you’ll see, although it does also inform you so some things you won’t see (sorry). Having said that, looking at their stats as a purely mathematical document it does contain some interesting information. As an example, the answer to the question about when you'll see the first shirt removal is 35 minutes, which honestly seems like a long time considering the movie is 110 minutes long.

Also, while it takes 45 minutes to get to the first lap dance, there are 10 of them throughout the film, so the second half seems to be a little lap dance heavy. Can you have too many lap dances? There must be some long segments of expository dialogue spoken during these lap dances, as this movie does have some sort of a plot, right? The film averages one air hump every minute and a half. What else do they do in this thing? Is this what what the early scripts look like for an episode of Cinema Sins?

Actually, it turns out Magic Mike XXL, like its predecessor,  is pretty good, with or without a quantifiable number of nipples. While the statistics compiled here are hilarious to look at on their own, they only tell part of the film’s story, which isn’t to say there isn’t plenty of that stuff to be seen if you’re interested in it.  There are a total of 48 minutes of "male entertainment time" in the film. That’s about the same number of minutes of commercials you’d get watching the movie on TV. Strippers are definitely better than commercials.

Now, can somebody tell us what the movie has against snack food? What seems to be an oddly extensive amount of food is destroyed in XXL. Is there a food fight at some point? A food fight with male know what...forget it, we don’t really want to know, we want to be surprised. You can do your own counting, of whatever you like, when Magic Mike XXL hits theaters tomorrow, July 1.

Dirk Libbey

CinemaBlend’s resident theme park junkie and amateur Disney historian. Armchair Imagineer. Epcot Stan. Future Club 33 Member.