Jean-Claude Van Damme Breaks Funny Bones In Goofy Comedy Welcome To The Jungle

Beyond the 2008 meta-comedy drama JCVD, I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen a movie where Jean-Claude Van Damme has actively tried to draw laughs out of audiences. Wait, you mean to tell me Double Team was a comedy? Now I have to rethink my whole life. Luckily, the above trailer for Rob Meltzer’s Welcome to the Jungle looks like a rollicking good time, assuming you don’t mind your well-casted comedies intentionally looking dumber than a box of bricks. And I don’t.

With a screenplay from first-timer Jeff Kauffmann, Welcome to the Jungle is Lord of the Flies for the stereotypical office worker sect. Dennis Haysbert (24) plays a manger who decides to send his entire team out onto a motivational wilderness retreat on a remote island, only he doesn’t realize that the person he’s hired to guide them, Storm (Van Damme), might as well be holding a sign above his head showing a screw next to a ball. This guy is not mentally equipped to keep an entire group of people from haphazardly dying in the woods.

As part of its office group, the film stars Adam Brody as the central guy Chris, Rob Huebel as the lunatic Phil, Aaron Takahashi as the rage-fueled Troy, Kristen Schaal as the Schaal-like Brenda, Megan Boone as a pretty girl named Lisa, and Eric Edelstein as… another kooky character named Jared. Okay, so the trailer doesn’t exactly give us a lot of characters with memorable traits.

But it does feature Van Damme selflessly diving into comedic waters, who not only gets mauled during a well-timed surprise tiger attack, but also kicks a guy’s ass in rugged slow motion, only to be shown he’s actually making the slow motion sounds as he fights. Comedy gold? I mean, it’s no Jingle All the Way or anything. (Said as sarcastically as possible.) I really hope this flick comes down to Van Damme and the mud-faced Rob Huebel in a battle to the death.

Welcome to the Jungle will welcome you to theaters next February. Until then, you’ll just have to live with this truly awful poster below, which is completely made up for by another viewing of the Volvo commercial where Van Damme cuts a split in between two trucks as they travel backwards. It will doubtlessly have a longer shelf life than this movie, but maybe he’ll spread his legs in the movie too, while saying the film’s title. Anyway, here’s the ad.

welcome to the jungle poster

Nick Venable
Assistant Managing Editor

Nick is a Cajun Country native and an Assistant Managing Editor with a focus on TV and features. His humble origin story with CinemaBlend began all the way back in the pre-streaming era, circa 2009, as a freelancing DVD reviewer and TV recapper.  Nick leapfrogged over to the small screen to cover more and more television news and interviews, eventually taking over the section for the current era and covering topics like Yellowstone, The Walking Dead and horror. Born in Louisiana and currently living in Texas — Who Dat Nation over America’s Team all day, all night — Nick spent several years in the hospitality industry, and also worked as a 911 operator. If you ever happened to hear his music or read his comics/short stories, you have his sympathy.